I WANT TO SEE YOU SMILE

I love your smile

Its cheerful style

It’s really very genuine

So pure and so divine

Whenever you smile

It’s like a bliss for a while

It gives such a lovely feeling

As if my heart you are stealing

An unknown feeling that I cannot explain

Like you are there for me in my pleasure and pain

I just want to hold that moment forever that you never know

Bring you closer, Kiss you, hug you & never let you go

My heart always want to see your smile everyday

Both growing up old together in delightful way

Your smile seems like rain in the midst of desert

A relief to person bearing the pain of heavy heart

Whenever you smile

While walking mile after mile

I just feel to keep observing you

I am born to a pleasing person with a heart new

Motivation for Love

In my last posting on “Love, Sex, Creativity and Life” many of my friends have criticized me that I have reduced down the level of love to the level of sex only. They used to ask me that whether sex is the only parameter of measuring love? Or is it not possible to have love without sex?

I don’t want to indulge into this debate without understanding some basics related to motivation for doing any activity including falling in love. Like any theory of motivation, love is also an act and it also need some motivation. Maslow’s need hierarchy theory needs special mention here. It says that people performs certain actions due to some motivations. Fulfilment of their needs are motivation for them. There are different level of needs. According to Abraham Maslow, a great psychologist, these needs follow a hierarchy and once a need is fulfilled, it no longer remains a motivator. 

Love also has many stages. The first stage is fulfillment of physiological need. At this stage, people normally used to get attracted by the opposite gender. Sex is primary thing at this stage. People try to satisfy their sexual needs through different acts of theirs. It may be talking, touching, kissing, hugging etc. once this need is satisfied then this need remains no longer a motivator for them to get indulge into any kind of relationship. According to one estimate, almost 80% of the relationships and love affairs die just after this need is satisfied or they feel that this need cannot be satisfied with this person and start looking for some other alternatives.

But the remaining 20% of the couples normally use to move ahead into their relationships. But the important question is what motivates them to be in any relationships? The answer is fulfillment of security need. In order to satisfy their security need they normally remain into the relationships. Security for getting love today as well as tomorrow. Many of the institutions like marriage, live-in relationships and commitment also to some extent etc. are created to satisfy this need.  Here also sex is an important component. And once this need is satisfied it is no longer a motivator like previous need. And most of the relations finish at this level. In India, we have the culture that marriages are forever, and though we are not satisfied in our marriage life and many people do not feel motivated to love their spouse because they are secured that they are going to get love irrespective of its desirability.

Then the next need is social need. Here people try to socialize themselves. They try to look beautiful so that the person to whom they love will feel comfortable. They try to excel in their work so that their partner will feel proud of them and will feel proud in realizing that such and such person is their love in the form of husband/wife or gf/bf. For example, it is due to this need only people used to go to their official parties and celebrations and celebrate their success with their spouse/gf/bf. Sex becomes secondary at this stage. But like previous two needs, once this need is satisfied, it is not a motivator. And almost all the relationships end at this stage except a few. Here the connection between two persons are not only at physical level rather it becomes at mental level. And from this level onward, gradually it becomes more of mental level and less of physical level. 

Then the next motivator for the few people who remain in love even after fulfillment of ‘social need’ is the ‘esteem need’. People want to excel in love. And most of the creations in the world are out of this need only. It was a few people who have excelled in love have gifted the world with their creations. May it be ‘Tajmahal’, Monalisa, or some scientific inventions? At this level, the association and connection between two persons is of mental level. The physical association is very low.   

There is one more need which is the last in the order of hierarchy is ‘self-actualization need’. In fact this need is never achieved and people (who have somehow able to achieve esteem need) always have the notion that they can achieve and capable of doing something more than their present state of affairs. But definitely it is above the ‘esteem need’. At this level the world has seen some of the all-time best pairs like ‘Laila-Mazanu’, ‘Seeri-Farhad’, ‘Romeo-Juliet’ etc. At this level the connections between two persons does not remain at the physical or mental level. Rather it goes beyond that and it becomes at the spiritual level. All the previous needs become meaningless at this point. May it be physiological needs including sex, or societal needs? At this point the people falling in love start looking the face of GOD in his/her sweetheart’s face/eyes.

There is another theory of motivation which is called two factor theory propounded by Herzberg, another great psychologist who has significant contribution on motivation. He has classified the needs in two categories as maintenance factors and motivational factors. As people move on and continue into a relationship then the previous level needs become ‘Maintenance factors’ and the higher level of the needs become ‘motivators’. Now one might ask what is ‘maintenance factors’ and ‘motivating factors’? Maintenance factors are those factors that are required to maintain the existing state of affairs or in this context the existing relationship. For example, if a person is in his/her third stage of satisfying needs that is societal needs then performing sexual activity is no longer a motivator for him/her, but if they are deprived of their sexual preferences then this may lead to their dissatisfaction.

So if a couple are good in making love, then it will not be a motivator for them to remain loyal to their partner but if they are not getting opportunity to make love to their partner then it may create dissatisfaction in them and it is a kind of disincentive to them to remain loyal with their spouse or partner.

The points raised here is an attempt to explain the motivation for indulging into relationships. But it is to be noted that this is not a theory which would work exclusively in all situations. There may be exceptions to this explanations. But at the preliminary level this was just an attempt to justify the existence of physical relationships in any kind of love especially that of husband/wife or gf/bf. 

WARRIOR I AM

I am fighting alone,

The battle with myself to grow

A warrior I am

Who said life in your hands?

Yet I will move ahead leaving the past!

A warrior I am

From my sincere talks ‘my today’ suffocates!!

Yet, I will be in path of truthfulness

A warrior I am

Too many façades in a world of loneliness!!

Yet, I fear not to travel in this isolated path

A warrior I am

They say it was my fault, as I saw a dream!

Yet my heart never breaks as they doubt the cause!!

A warrior I am

Sometimes dreams have broken many a times!

Yet this broken heart often finds something better in me too!

A warrior I am

My heart says repeatedly, you are weak, challenging my worth

I fought many duel circumstances alone worshiping thee!

A warrior I am

I will one day beyond all my limits

I will reach the sky making it my destination not my limit

A warrior I am

Love, Sex, Creativity and Life

Over a period of time, I have been observing one very interesting thing happening in the society. At one end, we are witnessing pair of boys and girls engaged in love, romance and finally sex. On the other hand, I often have a discussion with some of my married friends and they used to say that there love life particularly sex life is gradually becoming very boring.

At one end we find that the level of someone’s affection and love have been reduced down to the level of sex only and on the other hand those who are married are not getting enough time to spend with their spouse and there is a long queue before the doctors’ chamber of the couple planning to have  a baby.

Those who are not yet married are looking very desperate for sex and those who are married are not getting time even to plan a baby for themselves. There are many probable reasons for this but the reasons which strike most in my mind is our culture, ideologies and to some extent absence of sex education.  

Being a student of social science in general and management in particular, this has drawn my attention. Moreover, being a man, sex as a subject of discussion is always very spicy and attractive, though publicly many of us might deny.

Besides, last week I was watching the movie “Pink”. The situations portrayed in the movie has also given an impetus to write this piece of the article though it is not exclusively on gender issues. 

  

One of my childhood friend told me that his wife used to tell him that he has become a little boring over the period of time since their marriage and not very juicy. Of late, her wife has started to feel very dependent and a victim of ideologies of our society. He went on explaining that he has also started to feel very guilty and depressed. From his face, it seemed that he was feeling totally worthless.

I remember I told him that his wife is very compassionate and honest in her expressions. This is because each man finally becomes very boring not a little boring. Has any man ever realised the fact that what they call love is a repetition of some stupid gymnastics again and again? Interestingly, in this whole stupid game, the man is the loser. He is disintegrating his energy. The woman keeps her eyes closed. What she might be thinking during that time? I am sure she might be thinking that all these are just a question of only two or three minutes and this nightmare will be finished.

Science and technology has done so much of progress. But I could not find any significant innovation with respect to love making other than some contraceptives. We have made all kinds of innovation but why we have taken it for granted that going through the same actions again and again while making love, is going to make lovemaking very interesting.

I consider most of the women who happen to be someone’s wife or girlfriend are very compassionate. My friend’s wife (whom we can consider as the representative of all women) only told him that my friend (who can also be considered as representative of men fraternity) is becoming a little boring. In fact, I would like to reiterate the fact that all men become utterly boring to the best of my understanding and belief though I do not have any mechanism to prove it.

When the Christian missionaries came to the Indian subcontinent, people discovered that they knew only one posture of making love. This position was the woman underneath and the man on top of the delicate woman. In India, that posture is called the missionary posture.

If we look into our past, we find that India is a land of many inventions particularly during the period of Vedas. Our Vedas are the storehouse of tremendous ideas, innovations and scientific theories. There are still researches going on considering different ideas given in Vedas. India is an ancient land. It is the birthplace of many sciences. The question that I referred above is also addressed in our scriptures.

Vatsyayana has authored a book of tremendous importance entitled “Kamasutra” almost five thousand years before. The meaning of “Kamasutra” is hints for making love. This kind of work can come from a man of deep meditation like Vatsyayana. He has created more than eighty-four postures for lovemaking.

The great Vatsyayana had recognised the fact that the same love posture creates boredom. After some time it is bound to bring the feeling of stupidity. It is because one is always doing the same thing. Repetitive thing. If someone from another planet (say mars) happens to witness this entire episode then that particular person will have the feeling that what is this stupid thing these couples are doing every day. 

Vatsyayana invented different postures to make the love life of couples a little interesting. I believe, nobody in the whole world has written a book of the calibre of Kamasutra. It could only have come from a man of immense clarity, a man of deep meditativeness.

On the contrary, what kind of lovemaking ordinarily people used to do? The same actions again and again. Ultimately, it becomes boring.

Thus, I remember I suggested my friend read "Kamasutra" and get some inspiration from it so that he would not be boring to his wife.  

Especially for women, it is more boring. From my experience and discussion with my friends and also by reading some articles on these issues, what I could understand that man is finished in two or three minutes and the woman has not even started.

All around the world, cultures have enforced in the minds of women that they are not supposed even to enjoy or move or be playful particularly during lovemaking. If they do it, it is considered to be `dirty'. People would say that these things are to be done by prostitutes, not by the ladies. Ladies have to lie down almost dead and let the man do whatsoever he wants to do. 

There is nothing new in it. There is nothing new even to see this. I do not find any reason as to why people find pornography so interesting. There is nothing new in it. Perhaps people are getting excited to see the pornography due to the adventure involved in it like it has to be seen without the knowledge of anyone, in someone's house when all the family members are out for some time.

If some one's wife is telling that he has become boring then he should not take it as a personal disrespect. I told my friend that his wife is telling him something really sincere and honest.

I bluntly asked him to remember how many times he had given her orgasmic joy or he has simply using her to throw out his energy. If this is the case (and obviously this was the case otherwise why she would call him boring) he has reduced her down to the level of a commodity. 

In spite of all this, she is not even allowed to resist or tell that she is not comfortable. The culture, prevalent all over the world, has not allowed her to do so. She has been conditioned to accept it. But this acceptance is not joyful for her. 

Another possible reason for becoming boring is that one used to make love on the same bed where they used to fight every day. In fact, fighting is the preface then feeling tired, and some negotiation is needed.

In most of the people’s life, love is only a negotiation. If someone is a man of aesthetic sensibility, his love chamber should be a sacred place. In this love chamber, life is born. People should enter into their love chamber with deep respect.

Love should not be an abrupt thing. Love should have a preface of beautiful music, of dancing together, of meditating together. It is a kind of meditation. 

Love should not be a mind thing. Almost all people who are about to make love are continuously thinking of how to make love and then go to sleep. It should come out spontaneously. If spontaneously love happens in a sacred atmosphere it will have a different quality.

We, men, should understand that the woman is capable of multiple orgasms. This is particularly because she does not lose any energy. Man is capable of only one orgasm and he loses energy. As he goes on growing older it becomes more and more difficult. This difference has to be understood. The woman is on the receptive end.

Man's sexuality is local, like local anaesthesia. A woman's body is sexual all over. She is not expected to have an orgasmic explosion unless each cell of her body is involved in it. This biological difference between men and women needs to be understood.  

As per one research report, it is reported that approximately 99% of the women around the world could not get orgasmic joy. Even if it is slightly on the higher side and for the sake of argument let us consider that the figure is not 99% but only 90% then also this is really very unfortunate. 

There is a need that she should not be treated like a lady. She has to be treated as an authentic woman. The lady is a social construct, the woman is a biological construct and created by existence, i.e., created by God.

I told my friend to take care of these pieces of advice so that his wife would not call him a little boring and he will be really interesting and juicy to his wife.

I said his wife is claiming to be a victim. But if we look carefully, every human being is a victim of stupid ideologies. These stupid ideologies have created strange guilt feelings among us. These stupid ideologies do not allow a woman (and man also in many cases) to be playful while making love.

There are many people I met in my village who believe that making love is a kind of sin they are committing and that hell is not far off. This is ridiculous. 

Love making is a meditative process. Men's and women's whole presence has to be there, showering their love, beauty and grace on each other. Then they will not feel themselves to be a victim, otherwise, they are a victim of fake ideologies. The most important part is that no one (Man and Woman both) will feel guilty and depressed. I strongly believe that lovemaking is a form of creativity. No creative person feels depressed and guilty. His participation in the universe by his creative actions makes him tremendously fulfilled and gives him dignity.

I think, being creative is the birthright of every man. But the question is how many people really claim it. I believe there is no difficulty in claiming one’s creativity. It is so easy to use energy in creative fields like painting, gardening, writing, learning music, and dancing etc. One can learn and test his/her creativity every morning when he/she is cleaning his/her teeth, i.e., in how many ways, in how much time teeth can be cleaned. One should learn anything that changes his destructive energy into creative energy. This will transform negativity into positivity.

Bouncing Back

As it is said that with every good thing some bad things are associated and vice versa, similarly the incident of walking 20 km in absence of Rs. 20/-(refer previous story "The Best Friends"), though it cannot be said to be a very good memory, had given me a lot of confidence and filled me with positive energy. Prior to March 2014, I was always known for my academic writings. I used to keep myself busy in writings, be it research paper, books, seminar papers or even fiction writings. But all of a sudden, the situation had changed.

It was again the same me who had not done any academic work in the last almost one year and totally out of the academic world. I could not concentrate on any constructive work. During this period of one year, I had undergone considerable mental trauma. There were innumerable gossips considering me on the University campus. Everybody has their own story regarding me with the best possible explanation understandable only to them. Stories related to me were getting popular inside the University campus like hot cake and it was spicier than the stories about a girl who all of a sudden become the talk of the town. 

I was often humiliated by saying "What happened, you again become Assistant Professor?" Sometimes, people also make fun of me by saying "IIIT return". I was totally shattered. Most of them were the same people who at one point of time happens to be a very good companion of mine. I had conceptualised this poem during that time which goes like:

“जो कहते थे जिंदगी गुजरे तेरी बांहो में,
आज मेरी बातों से उनका दम घुटता है” 

It was not that nobody was standing with me during those days. There were some people who were very good friends of mine. They were standing by me, supporting me and fighting for me. But many times, I got to know that a certain section of people had scolded them for helping and supporting me. 

Every second person to whom I met during those days treats me as if I was a criminal. To be very frank, sometimes I felt and in fact treated like that of an anti-social element in the society during those days. 

On 31^st March 2015, I was preparing my balance sheet of life (I do it two times in a year, one on the day of my arrival on this earth, i.e. 18^th September and second on the last day of the financial year, i.e., 31^st March). I found that during the last more than one year, I had not done anything substantial other than to keep myself frustrating and quarrelling with my family members and friends. I was introspecting the reasons for this but that also had given me another dose of frustration. I started losing faith in myself.   

One day, I was reading Geeta and discussed it with my friends. Suddenly, I realised that whatever may be the situation, one should keep doing his duties. I also believed in this philosophy of Geeta, i.,e, "कर्मण्य वधिकारस्ते, माँ फलेषु कदाचनः" but that day, I don't know why I realised its true worth from core of my heart.

I do not know the reason but I could feel one positive energy in myself. A few weeks back, I had travelled the distance between University to Silchar town on foot and it had boosted my confidence. I was also thinking that God has made that master plan to re-install my lost faith and confidence. 

I was thinking seriously that the situation would not be the same always and if that was the bad phase of my life then good phase would also come soon like with every positive thing negative things are also associated. Similarly, if it was bad then something good must be there. And then the things would be started to turn in my favour. 

When the dark days would be over, then I would have nothing to show to the world as what had been done by me during the last few years. Nobody would be listening that due to some problem I could not do any academic and research work.

But the question was how can someone who is on such a situation like me at that time concentrate on doing something positive. The situations prevailing during that time were enough to put any normal person into Chinta (tension) viz a viz abnormal mental pain and the resultant would be mental disorder, anxiety, sleeplessness and frustration and I was also undergoing all these.

On that day, I started to think deeply and started doing Chintan. Chintan brings some solution to a problem in hand whereas Chinta brings nervous breakdown and anxiety and does not bring any solution.

In such a situation where I was not having anything, I started to introspect about the things that were with me during those days and came to the conclusion that I had plenty of time. I was not required to engage any classes nor guiding dissertation students (who were another source of anxiety because most of the time they come unprepared and with copied materials as well as copied idea). I was not invited to any official programmes of the University. The level of my anti-social like-treatment was such that I was also not invited in the personal programmes like wedding function of the son of one of my colleagues where people from the entire city were invited and though he met me several times in the University but not invited me. It seems that everybody had taken it for granted that this so-called Dr Ranjit Singh is not going to last for long.

Like every adversity brings some opportunity, this adversity has given me an opportunity in the form of plenty of time. And now it was me to decide which way this time should be utilised. I had to show to the world that I was still alive and nobody can forget me like this. After all, I belong to a race and community which is known for its fighting and fight back. All these features are present in my DNA too which I have inherited from my ancestors, and I think everybody should be proud of one's ancestors and their achievements. I was also reminded of SHER of Bahadur Shah Zafar 

“खामिशियों की मौत गंवारा नही मुझे
शीशा हु टूट कर भी खनक छोड़ जाऊँगा”

I decided to focus on the task in which I had some expertise, i.e., writing. But what to write? For writing, we need not only time but also some ideas. Suddenly, I had seen the syllabus of B.Com Programme of Assam University and since I had already written textbooks on ‘business environment’ for other universities, I picked up one syllabus of the business environment for Assam University and decided to write the textbook for the same. 

But again it was not so easy particularly when someone has not written anything for last more than one year. I remember I sat every day with my laptop for almost 10 days but could not write a single word.

One day, I was watching a cricket match, probably it was a repeat telecast. In that particular match, both the batsmen were having a tough time in scoring runs. Fours and sixes were not coming and one after another maiden over was going on. Then all of a sudden, I observed that the scoreboard was moving up though boundaries were not coming. On careful observation, I found that they were focusing on ones and twos and keep the scoreboard moving.

This had given me a new strike. I had decided to sit on the computer and write only one paragraph every day. Writing of one paragraph was not that difficult. On the first day, I had written one paragraph and I found a great deal of energy and enthusiasm in me. Then every day I kept on writing one paragraph only. This, writing of one paragraph continued for a few weeks (almost three weeks). Gradually my speed accelerated and I started writing several pages in one day and after four months, I found that book on ‘Business Environment’ was ready. 

I continued this momentum and within another six months, I was able to complete my first fiction book entitled “Presiding Babu” which was pending since long back. Since then there are many such incidents like the publishing of papers in Indexed Journals and seminar papers, etc. Now, I used to listen from people as to how could I do all these in the midst of all such problems. “Presiding babu” is becoming popular among the readers. But the journey was not so easy.

Last month, I was watching Salman Khan’s Sultan and one famous dialogue was uttered by the Character Sultan “मैन पहलवानी छोड़ी है, लड़ना नही भूल" (I left wrestling but didn't forget fighting). I could relate it to my story as well. I was out of writing for almost 14 months but have not forgotten writing.

So all that we need is to put ourselves on the right track. If we have to fly we have to be on the runway first and gradually generate momentum. Once we are on the runway, momentum is generated, nobody can stop us from flying.   

The Best Friends

“Sir, Will you be going to Silchar?” the conductor of the Sumo asked me while I was standing outside the University gate. It was the first week of March 2015 and the time was around 5.40 pm. I would have accepted his offer on any other day but that day though I had to go to Silchar but could not accept his offer. The reason was that I was not having the money to pay the fare. The staff bus of the University had also departed by that time. It sounds astonishing that a person of my stature was not having even Rs. 20/- to pay the fare, but it was the hard reality on that particular day. The distance was around 20 kilometre and need to commute by some vehicle. 

I joined back at Assam University on 31^st July 2014. I came back from IIIT Allahabad. At Allahabad, I had to file a court case in Allahabad High Court against the cancellation of my appointment along with 15 other colleagues by the Board of Management and for that, I had to pay a lot of money. Whatever I had earned in the last three months, before joining Assam University, were paid in the court cases. When I joined at Assam University, my joining was not accepted there due to some misunderstandings and due to the wrong allegations levelled against me. I was trying to explain the authorities the situation and reality but it seems that everybody in the world had closed their ears to listen to any of my words.

A committee was framed to investigate my matter and that committee also could not come up with any constructive solutions. During that period, my expenses had increased manifold, one due to the court case which was going on and another due to the maintenance of two setups – one at Silchar and another at Allahabad. On the other hand, my income from salary was nil because I was not getting a salary from the last 10 months.

Last week, I withdrew some money from my account and paid the house rent, sent some money to my wife who was stationed at Allahabad with my children and bought some groceries. After all this, I was left with only Rs. 150/-. I had a little money left in my account also and I was also worried that I had to run the entire month with that Rs. 150/-. A little money was left in my account and next month also there was no hope of getting any money, according to the situations prevailing at that time. Those Rs. 150/- also finished within a few days.  

But at the same time, I was thinking that in the past also this kind of situations arrived and God had helped me in coming out of those tough situations. Six months before also I was in an almost similar situation, then the next day I found that my account was credited with Rs. 6000/- as dividend from my some investment.

  

I am a regular investor. I never fail on paying my life insurance premium or any instalment of my bank's recurring deposit account. I have some investment in the stock market also. For making an investment, I believe that one should not wait for the right time because every moment is the right time, or one should not wait that he/she will be investing only when he/she has accumulated a considerable amount to invest. Meaning thereby, one should invest, if permissible, at any time and with any amount. I remember, I started investing when I was in class six and since then I am a regular visitor to a bank and insurance companies premises. During those days, I used to deposit even Rs. 5 (though difficult to believe, but it is true). Those petty savings and investments grew over a period of time and in course of time, I started to have my regular income too and all this had made my investment portfolio considerably bigger.

I am a regular investor in the stock market also, both as direct investment in equity and through mutual funds. But in the stock market, I only invested that part of my income which I think that loss of which can be borne by me though I rarely incur any loss in the stock market. I have identified a few stocks and every month, I generally used to buy one or two shares only. These one-two shares invested regularly has at present become around 300-500 numbers of shares of those companies.

Thus, every year I used to receive a considerable amount as dividend and interest. I also used to get some royalty for being the author of some textbooks.

For the last 10 months, though my expenses had increased and the salary was stopped, so these are the only sources of income I was having. I remember the saying of Warren Buffet that never be dependent on a single source of income, make the investment to create another one. At that juncture, I was finding this saying very relevant and true from the core of my heart.

But that day, I was not having even Rs. 20/- in my wallet to pay the Sumo fare. I went to nearby ATM, but it was showing 'out of cash'. I called a few people who were residing in the campus, but the mobile phone network was also exceptionally bad on that particular day. It was getting darker and darker with every passing second and there was no one near the University gate at that time.

I also thought to board any one of the Sumo and after getting down I would withdraw some money from nearby ATM then pay the fare. But the next moment I apprehended if I could not pay the fare due to non-functional ATM or delay in paying fare due to any reason, the Sumo driver might misbehave me. But now it was completely dark and this thought also could not be materialised because Sumos were not coming which would be going towards Silchar on that day. 

Since I joined back, I used to commute the distance to the University by the car of one of my colleagues. Thus, during those hours of darkness giving me lift on his car was a great financial help for me. He was not only giving me lift but also fought for me with the University administration to settle my case. But today he had also left earlier due to some work at home.

Now the problem with me was how to spend that winter night. I had a few options like to went to some of the colleagues who reside inside the campus of the University and ask for the financial help, but that was not allowed by my inner conscience. Secondly, to wait up to 8 p.m. for the university bus which would go to Silchar. If I opted for waiting for the university bus, it means I had to stay near the University gate for two more hours in the winter night and that might be sufficient to make me ill and moreover, simply sitting for two hours without any work was also not acceptable and justifiable. Moreover, I usually avoid meeting people during those days because the moment I used to meet anyone they started to ask about all the problems and show unnecessary sympathy which gave me a kind of embarrassment. My decision of not going to any teachers' house or not waiting for the University bus was also governed by this. It was due to this reason, I also avoid University staff bus because entire faculty and staff would start asking questions which would be embarrassing for me.   

Finally, I had taken a strange decision. I started to walk towards Silchar town. I thought if on the way, I could get the vehicle of some of my colleague who was also going to Silchar from University, I would ask for the lift.

While I was walking, a cloud of thoughts was coming in my mind. I was thinking that at the same time in the last year, I was getting a monthly salary of around Rs. 1,00,000. Though I still had sufficient investment in my portfolios, that day I was not having Rs. 20/- to pay the fare. I was walking continuously. Whenever I found that some vehicle was coming from behind, I used to turn in hope that it would belong to someone known to me and I will be getting the lift, but all in vain. It seems that everyone known to me had departed for their home. The street Sumo, as I told earlier, were also not very frequently coming because it was already night and during the night the frequency of these vehicles reduced substantially. I found two Sumos crossing me, but there was no space in those Sumos. 

Gradually, I was approaching towards Silchar in dark night, hilly roads with turns and twists with no human settlements on most part of it. After a few kilometres of the walk, I started enjoying my walk and stopped turning behind upon hearing the sound of any vehicle. Though it was a mild winter after sometimes I stopped feeling cold and in fact, it was a warm feeling. I was enjoying my walk. I was thinking that I was able to walk, enjoy my walk and had the confidence that I would be able to complete my walk up to Silchar was due to the fact that I was in a good health.

That day, I realized that apart from the other things, the two most important friend in our life are money and health. It is true that money cannot buy happiness but it is also true that lack of money can definitely buy miseries for anyone. It is blamed that people generally forget the other people and the whole world if they have money but it is equally true that the whole world forgets the person and their worth if they do not possess money. I also belonged to the league of those people who advocates that money is not the solution to all the problems of life (baba type people), but on that day I was realizing that one should have enough money before thinking such nonsense and it is always better to cry in BMW car than to cry on a bicycle.

The health of a person is another best friend. We can enjoy this world only if we have good health. Dalai Lama once said about the criticality of human behaviour that human being loses its health in the initial years of their life for earning money and later on spent that money in regaining their lost health. Thus, it is important to maintain the equilibrium between money and health. If these two things are properly maintained then only one can enjoy this mortal world and the company of people who may be their relative, or their family members or their friends.

Other thoughts were also coming in my mind like that of the case going on at Allahabad High Court then the thoughts of the whole matter of Assam University. Then I found the network signal on my mobile phone. I had taken out the earphone and put it in my ears. I started talking over the phone. As I had to make so many calls like calling to my wife, mother, brother, my colleagues at Allahabad for court case related matter and some of the friends with whom I usually share my griefs, I had subscribed to the scheme of making unlimited free calls anywhere in India from the cellular company. Therefore, the mobile bill was not at all the point of worry for me. 

First I called my mother and talked for a while, then called my wife at Allahabad and talked to my daughters as well who were also staying with her. Then I called a few friends of mine with whom I used to share all my worries but on that day I didn't tell my friends that I had to walk because of not having money. In fact, I had not told this to anyone with whom I talked on that day.  

I was so engrossed in talking that I forget about my walking and after two hours when I put down the call I found that I reached Silchar town. Then I realised the saying ‘a friend in need is a friend indeed’ and here though the persons with whom I was talking were not physically present with me, talking to them made me engrossed in the discussion which I started enjoying and could not realise the pain of walking. Moreover, I was confident that I would be able to survive in such a critical situation was also because of these people only who had extended their help during the hours of crisis.  
  

After reaching Silchar, the first thing I did was to find an ATM and withdraw some money because the next day again I had to go to University. I reached my home safely and I was in a perfect condition and then again I thanked God for giving me good health, giving me some wise thought so that I could invest some money and also for giving me the persons in my life who love me so much.

Years have passed of this incident but the lesson that I learnt on that day is still fresh in my memories. It gives me confidence in tough times that I had survived even tougher times than this.      

Maybe that was a testing time for me and the difficulties were testing my 'difficulty facing index' and finally difficulties realised that how difficult I am to deal with and from the next month my salary was started to be credited into my bank account and after a few months we won the case also at Allahabad High Court. 

Lathi and Buffalo Philosophy

I have been brought up in an environment where it is taught to us that at the end of the day justice prevails and finally it is the rules and regulations matters in a democratic set up. Being a student of Management, we have been dealing with the terms like ‘motivation’, ‘satisfaction’, ‘moral’ etc. and many more. We use to teach our students about various ways to running an organisation, several ways to handle a crisis situation in an organisation so that the organisation should run smoothly.

But gradually, I started to believe that all these are simply jargons and eye wash techniques. In fact what ultimately prevails in an organisation is “mighty is always right” or as per the popular Hindi saying “Jisaki Lathi usaki bhais”.

At the end of the day, irrespective of the legal or moral rights or wrongs, the person with whom power is there, emerge as a ruler. This is seen irrespective of anything.

There is one Mr. Director. He is not obeying the order of the court. Court is also not taking a strong note of this till today. When I interacted with him after the verdict of the court, he said that “I will not let you join this Institute of my own. If you can pressurize me through court then things will be different, otherwise I will not let you come here”. This is ridiculous. Indirectly he is also asking me to have my own lathi which should be very strong also and he will understand the language of only lathi.

I think all the rules and regulations are simply an eye wash. They are created to run the society smoothly but it is also a well-known fact that human being is criminal by nature It may sound absurd that human being is criminal by nature but this is the hard reality and the interesting part of the reality is that whether we like it or not but we have to accept it.

Thus, human being is basically a criminal entity and if all the human become criminal then it would be difficult to run the society in a smooth manner. Therefore, in order to run the society, we frame rules. But there are some people who have got mastery in broking these rules and set up a parallel system with the help of their power. Many a times, these people are able to acquire power because nobody else is resisting them. And if someone protest them then, out of them one with a greater power and support emerge out to be a winner and set up the rule “Jisaki Lathi usaki bhais”.

Buffalo is very important in our society. It gives us milk, its dunk is used in the farm land and there are many such usages. Unfortunately, interesting part is that this buffalo also understand the language of lathi only. It does not understand the language of love, rules, regulations, laws etc. Therefore, in spite of best of the best rules and regulations framed in the society, we need lathi to implement these rules.

When this buffalo is no longer useful to the person with lathi, then they leave it and there is another saying “Gayi Bhais Pani me”.

The previous person, when he was holding the post, he has the lathi and with this lathi he used to control the entire system. Finally when he realized that this buffalo is no longer useful to him, he left it saying that “Gayi Bhais Pani me”.

Last time, when I met the present person with a mighty stick in his hand, he was not understanding my views. I was trying hard to convince him about my views, my problems, about the next course of action and its implications, but he was not even ready to understand. He is making this proverb meaningful, “Bhais ke aage Bin Bajaye Bhais Rahi Paguraye”.

And I realized that there is only one way of making this buffalo understand, which is to acquire a lathi because this buffalo will only understand the language of lathi.

The power of lathi is the meta-physics here. There was one political leader in India...who said to his followers that .."Apani lathi ko tel pilao". By doing this, the lathi will become stronger. Giving oil and making it stronger is the epistemology of lathi philosophy. How to make this lathi powerful,  How to acquire this lathi, various ways of using the lathis and its related knowledge is also the additional part of epistemology here and there is ethics behind this. By and large, the society value this ownership of lathi, and if on the basis of this ownership we are able to get milk this gives us happiness and happiness is always viewed aesthetically in any society. Which means it has got axiological value too.

Thus, irrespective of anything in the society, what finally prevails is the lathi and buffalo philosophy. 

So, my friends, try to have a control over the lathi, either by muscle power, or by intellectual power or ant other thing.... Though it is the very primitive philosophy, but at still it is holding good in the society and in the days to come there are every reasons that this will remain a valid philosophy.