Nothing is free

“Where are you?” The Head of the Department asked me over the phone. I was in another department of the university and told him the fact. He said in a serious tone, “The Dean is asking for you, please come immediately to the meeting room of our Department.” 

I came immediately. The Dean asked, “Where were you, Ranjit? You are not visible in the Department nowadays.”

I said, “Sir, I was here only and most of the time I remain in the Department.”

“See Ranjit, These things won’t work in this Department. You have made yourself totally alien to this Department. Yesterday there was a press conference and you were not present in that conference”, he said.

I said, “Sir, I am not alien to this Department rather very much a part of it. And so far as the press conference is concerned, I was not informed.”

He said in anger, “How come, other members of the Department, were present?”

I said in a firm voice, “How do I know? I have not been given any information and I thought my presence is not sought for and therefore, I didn’t come to the press conference and moreover, this is a University Department and any communication should be through official channels only. Why should I rely on any information which I received informally?”

When he found himself in an uncomfortable position then he tried to change the topic. Intelligent people have mastery in doing such kind of things. If they found themselves not strong in any situation/argument then they try to change the ground and plot. He took out a paper from the file placed before him and said in the same tone, “You have applied for a leave in the midst of the semester. You will be out of station for the whole week. Have you thought about what will happen to your classes for the whole week?”

He said this in such a tone as if I would be out of station not for one week but for one semester and nobody else had taken any leave in the department before me. He was trying to give an impression as if nobody takes leave in the midst of the semester. If I would have been his favourite, there would not be any problem in allowing me for the leave, but I was the one who did not listen to him nor ask him for any kind of advice.

It’s not that I disrespect him or think that he was incompetent. But I did not have the habit of asking for or seeking advice for unnecessary things. I show people used to ask for his advice with regard to the journal in which their paper is to be submitted and he usually advises as if he had a lot of publication in those journals, however, the fact was that he did not have any publication except for a journal which was published by him only and in that journal only his papers used to be published.

Buttering is an art and one such skill of buttering is to make the person feel important and in the process I found some of my colleagues to seek advice with respect to the problems which might not be discussed with him like seeking advice regarding some bills to be submitted to the Accounts Department of the University, designing course structure and Dean used to advice them even he did not teach that course in the past. Sometimes, I also thought to impress him with my butter, but soon realised that the time that I would have utilised for this purpose would be more than the time which I would have to consume for doing any work had his blessings were not upon me. I also realised that instead of spending time in such activities, I focus on doing my work than my work would be done properly and need not to spend time, effort and money to impress him unnecessarily.

Finally, I realised nothing is free of cost. There is a cost of flattering a person and standing on one’s knees and there is a cost of doing one’s own work properly and standing on one’s own feet. For me, the later seems to be affordable.        

I said in a low voice, “But sir, it is necessary for me to go and that is why I am asking for the earned leave.”

Dean said, “See Ranjit, Leave is not a matter of right and you have not filled up the leave application form also properly.”

He then starts looking at the form with an intention to find some mistake in it but he could not find any mistake. Then he pointed out his fingers at one point where the reason for the leave was to be written. I had written the reason “PERSONAL”.

He said, “The reason cannot be so vague, you should write it in detail”. I thought about what detail I should write. Since I have started working at University, the reason for leave I always wrote ‘personal’ and nobody told that it is vague, but on that day I was totally shattered. Moreover, if the detail reason is to be written instead of ‘personal’ then how come it would be ‘personal’?   

I took the application form from his hand and said, “Ok sir, if you so desire I won’t go”. I ripped the form in front of him and came out of the meeting room. The Head of the Department was sitting there and he did not speak a single word. I was expecting him to interfere but he did not. With this, he did not do any harm to me but from that day onward, he has lost all respect from me.

In fact, it was not urgent for me to take leave at that time. But by stopping me to avail the leave, the ego of the dean got satisfied and moreover, I ripped the leave application form in front of him which had compelled him to think that I would not compromise with him in any way and, probably, it was the effect of that incident that whenever I submitted any leave application, the dean did not put any objection and allowed it without any question.  This story has given me two lessons, first, one should not argue with a person who is very high on his ego. It is better to satisfy the ego of an idiot rather than to fight or argue with him. Secondly,  one should not bend down in front of egoist person and this gives them a message for their future of not unnecessarily interfere with you. Due to the fear of losing their ego, they will not interrupt in a persons' way whom they know to be non-compromising. Later I had taken leave when PG admission in the department was going on and it was indeed difficult to grant leave for anyone, but when I submitted my application for leave instead of denying the Dean was trying to find ways to grant it.

Disclaimer: The story is fictitious and any resemblance to any person living or dead is purely coincidental. 

पुनः मूसको भवः... Coming back

The Dean asked, 'You both, please leave this room. I have something very confidential to discuss with Dr Singh, addressing my two colleagues who were present with me in the Head of Department's chamber. I had returned to my previous University that day after a year of service at another institution. 

It was the humid morning of July 31st, 2014, and the heat and humidity weighed heavily upon me, more so than on anyone else on campus. This was due to my return from a higher position at my new job, a circumstance that had left me utterly shattered. I expected, perhaps naively, that colleagues at my old organization would offer me some sympathy. This expectation stemmed from my previous five-year tenure there, a period marked by success and positive relationships. I believed, or perhaps merely hoped, that people's fondness for me during my previous stint was genuine.

Entering the campus that morning, I felt a barrage of unseen questions in the gaze of every passerby. Fifteen months had elapsed since my last visit, and for the first time in my life, I found myself deliberately averting my eyes from familiar faces. Shame, however, was not due to any wrongdoing on my part. I was bearing the brunt of a situation I had no control over, the consequences of others' actions. While explaining my return from my new position to colleagues in the Head of Department's office, I sensed a subtle undercurrent of judgment. They seemed to be searching for flaws in me, convinced that my appointment must have been revoked due to some personal shortcoming.

Two other colleagues were present. The Dean entered the room. I respectfully touched his feet, a gesture I typically extend to those I consider intellectually superior. He acknowledged it and invited me to sit.

As the others left the room at his request, the Dean turned to me and inquired, 'You came back?' My mind was a whirlwind of conflicting thoughts. I felt deeply embarrassed about returning to my previous position, a demotion after accepting a promotion at another institution. The morning had already begun with a sarcastic jab from a colleague: "Oh, you came back? Why again did you become Assistant Professor?" This humiliation fueled my reluctance to make eye contact with anyone I encountered that day. I anticipated the Dean would inquire about my return, forcing me to recount the familiar story I had been sharing all morning. However, his silence was more unsettling. When he finally spoke, his words were a chilling pronouncement: 'But your return is not glorious.'

I acknowledged his statement with a simple, 'I know.' My return was not a triumphant victory, not a Nobel Prize-winning achievement. It was not glorious. He, however, insisted on the point, repeating, 'You should remember that your return is not glorious.'

I reiterated, 'Yes, sir, I understand completely.' My return was not glorious; given the circumstances, it could never be. I expected him to inquire about the reasons for my departure or at least to express some concern for my well-being. But he remained silent, offering no words of welcome or even a cursory inquiry about my health. His demeanour lacked any warmth, as if my return was an unwelcome intrusion.

He declared, 'This Department's journey truly began when I arrived.' I was accustomed to this narrative, a familiar refrain since my first day at the University. In every meeting, he consistently emphasized that the Department's progress was solely attributable to his arrival as if the Department had been stagnant prior to his tenure. While significant advancements had occurred during his time, these developments were paralleled across departments and universities nationwide, largely driven by the burgeoning Indian economy since 2004. However, he persistently claimed sole credit for these achievements. I remained silent.

He continued, 'We worked as a team, elevating the Department to become the flagship of the University. We envisioned a future where this Department would achieve international prominence, surpassing even the ambitions of the IIMs. In the global academic landscape, the finest business schools are often affiliated with universities. India stands unique in its separation of management education into specialized institutions. However, I believe universities inherently possess a greater capacity. They are vast and interconnected, fostering interdisciplinary research – a significant advantage.' His comparisons to the IIMs often elicited a ripple of amusement among the faculty. I considered suggesting he visit an IIM to gain a firsthand understanding of their work culture but ultimately decided to remain silent. It was clear this was his platform to speak, and he did.

Then, a chilling accusation: 'Some unscrupulous individuals within this University, including yourself, sought to undermine this Department's success through petty politics.’ The accusation, 'including yourself’, left me reeling. I immediately began to scrutinize my own actions, desperately trying to understand what had led him to believe I had tarnished the department's reputation. My mind raced. During my time here, I dedicated myself fully to teaching, research, and extracurricular activities. I had published numerous papers in prestigious journals, earning praise from the Dean himself. I had never missed a class and diligently fulfilled all my academic and administrative duties. Could these contributions somehow be interpreted as detrimental to the department?

He continued his tirade, 'By leaving for an external institution, you chose a different path. Now, you return to this University, seeking a second chance. We are currently in a period of recovery, striving to reclaim the Department's former glory. I trust that this time, you will not engage in any activities that could damage the Department's reputation.’ The true source of their resentment, I realized, was my previous appointment at a prestigious national institution, far surpassing this university in stature.

He spoke of reclaiming the Department's past glory, but the reality was that no such 'glory' existed prior to the contributions of myself and a few other colleagues. The true measure of a department's success lies in its faculty's research output – publications, conference invitations, and research project involvement. Prior to our arrival, the Department had little to boast of in these areas.

The Dean stated, "During your previous tenure, you participated in activities that have damaged the department's reputation. I have received credible information about these actions." His accusations continued, culminating in a surprisingly unexpected statement: 'You began publishing research papers, and suddenly everyone in the Department followed suit.' I was bewildered. As academics, research and publication are fundamental responsibilities. Was I being chastised for fulfilling my duties diligently? Was it somehow detrimental to the Department's reputation? The Dean paused dramatically, then said, "You initiated a 'rat race' of publications, and everyone in the department felt compelled to follow suit."

I thought how my colleagues' pursuit of research could be detrimental to the department. After all, an institution's reputation is built upon the scholarly output of its faculty. However, I chose to remain silent, allowing him to fully vent his animosity. He continued his tirade, 'Dr. Singh, there is a limit to human greed. You sought to achieve everything at once. What would you have left to strive for later in life? You should be content with your blessings. Before joining this university, you were on a contractual position at a state university. You were fortunate to secure a position at a Central University. You should be grateful for your achievements, but your insatiable greed led you down this path, ultimately resulting in your return to this institution.' This confirmed my suspicion that his jealousy stemmed from my securing a position at a prestigious national institution, a feat he had aspired to but failed to achieve. His inability to attain a similar role likely fueled his resentment towards my success.

He concluded, 'You are back for a second term. I trust that you will not repeat the past mistakes. I expect you to fully cooperate with your Head of Department and contribute positively as a team member.'

I realized that any kind of argument would be futile. The Dean's mind was set, and any attempt to defend myself would likely be misconstrued. Given my fragile emotional state at the time, I prioritized regaining my footing and avoiding unnecessary conflict. I concluded that the best course of action was to remain silent and allow him to harbour his own misperceptions.

हज़ार जबाबों से अच्छी है मेरी ख़ामोशी, ना जाने कितने सवालों मान रखती है 

I simply greeted him and left the chamber. It became clear that the days ahead would be challenging. My initial expectation of finding sympathy and consideration from my former colleagues had proven to be a grave miscalculation. Despite the unpleasant encounter, a sense of exhilaration surged within me. I realized that Dean’s envy was a testament to my achievements. Only the mediocre remain unchallenged, devoid of both admirers and detractors. The Dean's venomous outburst, fueled by insecurity, further solidified my self-worth. As a junior faculty member, his vitriol confirmed that I was a force to be reckoned with. With a triumphant gesture, I whispered to myself, "कुछ तो बात है तुम्हारे अंदर"

Disclaimer: The story is fictitious, and any resemblance to any person, living or dead, is purely coincidental.