Dhaka Diary

Once again after a gap of almost two years, I was heading towards Bangladesh. Last time in the year 2015, I was there and had a very memorable experience. But this time, it was not by the same route. Last time I entered Bangladesh from Karimganj of Assam but now as I am stationed at Allahabad so I had to enter Bangladesh from Kolkata. I reached Kolkata two days in advance and went to the Bangladesh Deputy High Commission Office for Visa. Initially, I thought that visa will be issued on the same day but after reaching there I discovered that it cannot be issued on the same day.

On the Visa counter, a lady was sitting in her traditional Muslim attire. The lady asked me “Why are you applying for Visa from Kolkata and not from Guwahati? We have an office in Guwahati too.” I said, “I am currently stationed at Allahabad, so Kolkata is near to me”. On this, she gets annoyed and said, “You should have to get it issued by Guwahati office”. I again repeated the same thing. Then she asked, “How far is Allahabad from Guwahati?” I said politely, “almost 1700 km”. she exclaimed, “Is it?” it seems she was not familiar with the length and breadth of India and after that, she quietly kept the Visa application form and asked me to come on next day.

I came to a Hotel in Kolkata and cancelled the ticket which was for the next day. I decided to book tickets for Dhaka only after getting final Visa. I spent the whole day sitting in the Hotel and next day I was waiting for 5 pm because I was expecting to get Visa at 5 o’clock in the evening. But suddenly I got a call from an unknown number. I picked up the call. It was from Bangladesh High Commission. I was informed that there was some problem going on in the server at Dhaka and therefore, Visa cannot be issued before Monday. I requested the person who called me to issue Visa somehow otherwise it will be too late for me. He said that since the entire process is computerized so nothing is in their hand and they have to depend on ICT for everything.

I was going to Dhaka to present a research paper at an international conference and one of the papers was on ICT. In that paper, I have advocated for adoption ICT in all possible aspects of life and now ICT is showing its cruel face which I had not mentioned in my paper. It seems ICT is laughing at me and saying

“Duniya hai mere pitche, lekin main tere pitche”

It was Friday on that day. I was shocked and worried too. The conference for which I was going was scheduled on Monday itself. It means Visa will be of no use if it would be issued on Monday. I called to my friend cum research scholar in Dhaka Prof. Sogir Hossain and informed him the situation. He was also very worried. After all, we were going to meet after a long gap so both of us were excited to see each other but all of a sudden it seemed that all our plans for the next few days would be crashed.

After some time, he has given me one name and reference and asked me to meet the person in the Bangladesh High Commission. Immediately I rushed towards the office of Bangladesh High Commission. I took an appointment with the person who was named by my friend. He was the Counselor General of the High Commission. I was waiting in the waiting room. In the waiting room, there were a few other people also waiting to meet someone. I was chatting casually with a few of them. One interesting thing in the room was the introduction of people. Generally, we used to introduce ourselves with our name, then our designation, our caste, religion etc. In the waiting room, everybody was introducing themselves as either INDIAN or BANGLADESHI and this was the only introduction for most of the people present in the room.

More than the idea of missing of the conference, I was thinking about the embarrassment that I would have to go through after going back from Kolkata. I was thinking how I would face my friends and colleagues that Bangladesh has rejected my Visa. If the USA would have refused to issue Visa then there are fair chances that one might become Prime Minister of India but Bangladesh…? 

However, my fortune favours and I received a phone call on my mobile that server is fixed and my Visa is ready. I was asked to collect it from the counter. I rushed towards the counter and after some wait, I got my passport with proper Visa.

I came back to the Hotel. I had decided to go to Dhaka by bus. The reason was I wanted to see Bangladesh elaborately. I believe that the atmosphere at the airports is not different whether it is in India or Bangladesh, but if I have to see real Bangladesh then I must travel by bus. My belief was true and I found that a common Bangladeshi citizen is similar to a common Indian citizen and travels in the bus and enjoys his/her life to its full extent. He sings, dance, cracks jokes.

We crossed the border at Benapole near Kolkata and completed immigration formalities. The other side of the border was Bangladesh. Completely identical in all respect, but a different country with a different currency, different name and different mobile network and again I was reminded of the dialogue from a Hindi movie Sarfaros:

“Siyasat ke dalalo ne zameen pe lakir khich ke mulk ke do tukade kar diye aur dono taraf

ke zahilo ko yeh fisala karne ka adhikar mil gaya ki kaun sa gadha takht pe baithega”.

I am always mesmerized by the beauty of Bangladesh. On both sides of the roads, there were green paddy fields. However, the road conditions were relatively poor. This time I experienced one problem which Bangladesh facing is the traffic jam. Later I came to know during the conference that Bangladesh especially Dhaka is famous for its traffic jam. Our bus was also a victim of same. After the whole day of travel, the bus reached on the bank of river Padma. There another big experience was waiting. I found that the bus was shipped on a big ferry. The ferry was so big that it had accommodated around ten big buses. The ferry travelled for approximately 45 minutes and after that, the bus was on the other side of the river.

Again after the run of around two hours, the bus entered the Dhaka city and finally it was the time to face the great traffic jam of Dhaka city. The distance of approximately 15 kilometres was travelled in around two hours and finally, the time came that one of my friend, Mr Salauddin (who became my friend during the journey) informed me that the destination has arrived.

Mr Salauddin was my co-passenger on the bus. He got the seat with me on the bus. He was very friendly and cooperative. In the bus, he asked me in Hindi if I am going to Dhaka and I said “yes”. I asked him about his nationality and he told that he is a Bangladeshi and then I astonishingly asked him how he can speak Hindi so well. He said that his grandmother is from Bihar in India and he used to talk in Hindi at his home. This was a unique learning for me that people in Bangladesh also speak in Hindi at their homes. Throughout the journey, Mr Salauddin has taken all possible care of mine. I was in touch with my friend Md. Sogir Hossain through his mobile as my mobile network was not working in Bangladesh.

After getting down on the bus, I was taken to the Dhaka Club. It was a beautiful residential Hotel and I was informed that only privileged people are accommodated in the Dhaka Club. I felt proud of myself and happy to be placed in the privileged category. The person sitting on the counter was speaking in Hindi.

Next day, my programme was to deliver lectures at the Jagannath University, Dhaka. I completed my breakfast before 8 am. Md. Sogir Hossain came by 8 am and take me to the Jagannath University which is situated around 16 kilometres away from the Dhaka Club. On the way, he has shown me the race course of Dhaka where the historic surrender of Pakistani Army taken place which is considered as the world’s biggest surrenders. A group of around 95000 Pakistani shoulders have surrendered before the Indian army on 16^th December 1971. My heart filled up with the joy and glory of being an Indian. On the way, there was the Supreme Court of Bangladesh, High court of Dhaka Division. Bangladesh does not have the concept of states like India rather they have divisions and the entire country is divided into eight divisions and each of the division is having one High Court.

Md. Sogir Hossain is a Professor in the Department of Finance, Jagannath University, Dhaka and I have the privilege to be called as his PhD supervisor. He is a very creative person and everyone loves his company. He has a very inquisitive mind which is essential to be a good researcher and I always get impressed with his ability to see the same thing from a different perspective.

At Jagannath University, I interacted with the students of MBA, BBA and MBA (Evening) programmes. Students were very excited and enthusiastic to interact with a foreign Professor. Interestingly, they asked to engage classes in Hindi. One of them said that they had attended the class of Professors in English and Bengali and they are interested to listen to lectures in Hindi. I asked how they understand Hindi. They said that it is due to the Hindi TV Channels and Hindi Cinema. Anyway, the visit to the Jagannath University was very successful. I met with the Vice Chancellor too and I must appreciate the dynamism of Hon’ble Vice Chancellor.

I came back to the Dhaka Club which was my residence in Dhaka and had my dinner. At midnight I felt stomachache and could not sleep the whole night. In the morning, I ranged to the reception counter and told my problem. Within a few minutes, a person came with two medicines. I ate both the medicines. I already made a call to Md. Sogir and he said that he would bring some medicines for me. When I came out of my room and deposited the room key at the reception, I found that one young and smart boy was waiting for me. He informed me that he came to pick me up. There was one more American lady Professor who was supposed to accompany me. After few minutes of wait, she came out and we headed towards the University of Dhaka.

Soon we were on the premises of Faculty of Business Studies, University of Dhaka. It is a nine-story building full of all kinds of amenities. Truly speaking, I was surprised as well as mesmerized with the infrastructure of the University of Dhaka. The entire campus was thrilling with academicians gathered from all over the world along with the young boys and girls who were the students of the University of Dhaka. I always admire the dressing sense of Bengalis especially the girls. Irrespective of the fashion going on in the market on a particular time, they always have a special Saari for every occasion. So the campus was also full of the beautiful and cheerful girls wearing colourful sari.  

The University of Dhaka has a very rich history and is known as the 'Oxford of the East'. Allahabad is also known as the 'Oxford of the East'. Thus, I was from one Oxford to another Oxford. However, I don't appreciate when either Allahabad or Dhaka is referred to as 'Oxford of the East'. For me, it seems as the symbol of slavery. This is because I believe that our civilisation, culture and Universities such as Nalanda, Takhshila and Vikramshila are older centres of academics than that of Oxford and this is very discouraging when people say Allahabad as Oxford of the East. Rather Oxford should have been called 'Allahabad of the West'.   

  

The conference started in its conference hall. In the meantime, I had another dose of medicines brought by Md. Sogir. My presentation was next day. After the lunch, Md. Sogir took me to the market and bought some clothes for me and my family. I was stopping him but he did not stop and paid all the bills.

Since I could not sleep whole night so I come back to the hotel room and slept. In the evening,    there was dinner at the Vice Chancellors residence. We went there and had our dinner.

Next day, I had three presentations which went well. In the evening, there was conference dinner and cultural programme. It was in the Hotel La-Meridian, a five-star hotel in Dhaka.

The whole memory of Dhaka is very refreshing. People in Dhaka are very cooperative and helpful. Dhaka is very crowded city and therefore, traffic jam is a big problem in Dhaka. However, the way Bangladesh has transformed itself in last two-three decades is remarkable. Once Bangladesh and Pakistan were the same countries but after its liberation from Pakistan, Bangladesh has progressed fairly well and it is way ahead of Pakistan in respect of almost all the critical parameters, which is evident from the available data and in some aspects such as infant mortality it is doing well even than that of India.

Bangladesh has done remarkable progress in the field of mobile phones and through this, they are penetrating in the field of mobile banking too. Currently, Bangladesh is a leader in this part of the world in this field and making a huge progress in bringing financial inclusion to those who are deprived of the formal banking channels.    

Hindi and Hindi cinema both is very popular in Bangladesh and people could speak Hindi. I found that students of Bangladesh are very much aware of the happenings in India. I found one lady at the University of Dhaka was speaking in Bhojpuri to her family members. I could not resist myself to ask about the source of her Bhojpuri Language and she told that her grandparents were from Bihar in India. This was another information as well as news to those who are advocating for recognising Bhojpuri as one of the languages in India. In fact, Bhojpuri is the only Indian Global language because it is spoken in more than 11 countries of the world.   

Bangladesh has successfully completed its project of issuing identification to all its citizens which is similar to the AADHAR in India. This journey was very peculiar for me as I have travelled through all the modes of transport such as railway, roadway, waterway, airways. 

I think this kind of visits should be encouraged which would strengthen the relationship between two countries. Both the countries share a rich history, both the countries have the same DNA, both the countries have fought their war of independence from British together and if the steps are taken appropriately then it can lead to the creation of win-win situation for both the nations.                   

         

       

Pehchan Abhi Baaki Hai 1

I WANT TO SEE YOU SMILE

I love your smile

Its cheerful style

It’s really very genuine

So pure and so divine

Whenever you smile

It’s like a bliss for a while

It gives such a lovely feeling

As if my heart you are stealing

An unknown feeling that I cannot explain

Like you are there for me in my pleasure and pain

I just want to hold that moment forever that you never know

Bring you closer, Kiss you, hug you & never let you go

My heart always want to see your smile everyday

Both growing up old together in delightful way

Your smile seems like rain in the midst of desert

A relief to person bearing the pain of heavy heart

Whenever you smile

While walking mile after mile

I just feel to keep observing you

I am born to a pleasing person with a heart new

Motivation for Love

In my last posting on “Love, Sex, Creativity and Life” many of my friends have criticized me that I have reduced down the level of love to the level of sex only. They used to ask me that whether sex is the only parameter of measuring love? Or is it not possible to have love without sex?

I don’t want to indulge into this debate without understanding some basics related to motivation for doing any activity including falling in love. Like any theory of motivation, love is also an act and it also need some motivation. Maslow’s need hierarchy theory needs special mention here. It says that people performs certain actions due to some motivations. Fulfilment of their needs are motivation for them. There are different level of needs. According to Abraham Maslow, a great psychologist, these needs follow a hierarchy and once a need is fulfilled, it no longer remains a motivator. 

Love also has many stages. The first stage is fulfillment of physiological need. At this stage, people normally used to get attracted by the opposite gender. Sex is primary thing at this stage. People try to satisfy their sexual needs through different acts of theirs. It may be talking, touching, kissing, hugging etc. once this need is satisfied then this need remains no longer a motivator for them to get indulge into any kind of relationship. According to one estimate, almost 80% of the relationships and love affairs die just after this need is satisfied or they feel that this need cannot be satisfied with this person and start looking for some other alternatives.

But the remaining 20% of the couples normally use to move ahead into their relationships. But the important question is what motivates them to be in any relationships? The answer is fulfillment of security need. In order to satisfy their security need they normally remain into the relationships. Security for getting love today as well as tomorrow. Many of the institutions like marriage, live-in relationships and commitment also to some extent etc. are created to satisfy this need.  Here also sex is an important component. And once this need is satisfied it is no longer a motivator like previous need. And most of the relations finish at this level. In India, we have the culture that marriages are forever, and though we are not satisfied in our marriage life and many people do not feel motivated to love their spouse because they are secured that they are going to get love irrespective of its desirability.

Then the next need is social need. Here people try to socialize themselves. They try to look beautiful so that the person to whom they love will feel comfortable. They try to excel in their work so that their partner will feel proud of them and will feel proud in realizing that such and such person is their love in the form of husband/wife or gf/bf. For example, it is due to this need only people used to go to their official parties and celebrations and celebrate their success with their spouse/gf/bf. Sex becomes secondary at this stage. But like previous two needs, once this need is satisfied, it is not a motivator. And almost all the relationships end at this stage except a few. Here the connection between two persons are not only at physical level rather it becomes at mental level. And from this level onward, gradually it becomes more of mental level and less of physical level. 

Then the next motivator for the few people who remain in love even after fulfillment of ‘social need’ is the ‘esteem need’. People want to excel in love. And most of the creations in the world are out of this need only. It was a few people who have excelled in love have gifted the world with their creations. May it be ‘Tajmahal’, Monalisa, or some scientific inventions? At this level, the association and connection between two persons is of mental level. The physical association is very low.   

There is one more need which is the last in the order of hierarchy is ‘self-actualization need’. In fact this need is never achieved and people (who have somehow able to achieve esteem need) always have the notion that they can achieve and capable of doing something more than their present state of affairs. But definitely it is above the ‘esteem need’. At this level the world has seen some of the all-time best pairs like ‘Laila-Mazanu’, ‘Seeri-Farhad’, ‘Romeo-Juliet’ etc. At this level the connections between two persons does not remain at the physical or mental level. Rather it goes beyond that and it becomes at the spiritual level. All the previous needs become meaningless at this point. May it be physiological needs including sex, or societal needs? At this point the people falling in love start looking the face of GOD in his/her sweetheart’s face/eyes.

There is another theory of motivation which is called two factor theory propounded by Herzberg, another great psychologist who has significant contribution on motivation. He has classified the needs in two categories as maintenance factors and motivational factors. As people move on and continue into a relationship then the previous level needs become ‘Maintenance factors’ and the higher level of the needs become ‘motivators’. Now one might ask what is ‘maintenance factors’ and ‘motivating factors’? Maintenance factors are those factors that are required to maintain the existing state of affairs or in this context the existing relationship. For example, if a person is in his/her third stage of satisfying needs that is societal needs then performing sexual activity is no longer a motivator for him/her, but if they are deprived of their sexual preferences then this may lead to their dissatisfaction.

So if a couple are good in making love, then it will not be a motivator for them to remain loyal to their partner but if they are not getting opportunity to make love to their partner then it may create dissatisfaction in them and it is a kind of disincentive to them to remain loyal with their spouse or partner.

The points raised here is an attempt to explain the motivation for indulging into relationships. But it is to be noted that this is not a theory which would work exclusively in all situations. There may be exceptions to this explanations. But at the preliminary level this was just an attempt to justify the existence of physical relationships in any kind of love especially that of husband/wife or gf/bf. 

WARRIOR I AM

I am fighting alone,

The battle with myself to grow

A warrior I am

Who said life in your hands?

Yet I will move ahead leaving the past!

A warrior I am

From my sincere talks ‘my today’ suffocates!!

Yet, I will be in path of truthfulness

A warrior I am

Too many façades in a world of loneliness!!

Yet, I fear not to travel in this isolated path

A warrior I am

They say it was my fault, as I saw a dream!

Yet my heart never breaks as they doubt the cause!!

A warrior I am

Sometimes dreams have broken many a times!

Yet this broken heart often finds something better in me too!

A warrior I am

My heart says repeatedly, you are weak, challenging my worth

I fought many duel circumstances alone worshiping thee!

A warrior I am

I will one day beyond all my limits

I will reach the sky making it my destination not my limit

A warrior I am

Love, Sex, Creativity and Life

Over a period of time, I have been observing one very interesting thing happening in the society. At one end, we are witnessing pair of boys and girls engaged in love, romance and finally sex. On the other hand, I often have a discussion with some of my married friends and they used to say that there love life particularly sex life is gradually becoming very boring.

At one end we find that the level of someone’s affection and love have been reduced down to the level of sex only and on the other hand those who are married are not getting enough time to spend with their spouse and there is a long queue before the doctors’ chamber of the couple planning to have  a baby.

Those who are not yet married are looking very desperate for sex and those who are married are not getting time even to plan a baby for themselves. There are many probable reasons for this but the reasons which strike most in my mind is our culture, ideologies and to some extent absence of sex education.  

Being a student of social science in general and management in particular, this has drawn my attention. Moreover, being a man, sex as a subject of discussion is always very spicy and attractive, though publicly many of us might deny.

Besides, last week I was watching the movie “Pink”. The situations portrayed in the movie has also given an impetus to write this piece of the article though it is not exclusively on gender issues. 

  

One of my childhood friend told me that his wife used to tell him that he has become a little boring over the period of time since their marriage and not very juicy. Of late, her wife has started to feel very dependent and a victim of ideologies of our society. He went on explaining that he has also started to feel very guilty and depressed. From his face, it seemed that he was feeling totally worthless.

I remember I told him that his wife is very compassionate and honest in her expressions. This is because each man finally becomes very boring not a little boring. Has any man ever realised the fact that what they call love is a repetition of some stupid gymnastics again and again? Interestingly, in this whole stupid game, the man is the loser. He is disintegrating his energy. The woman keeps her eyes closed. What she might be thinking during that time? I am sure she might be thinking that all these are just a question of only two or three minutes and this nightmare will be finished.

Science and technology has done so much of progress. But I could not find any significant innovation with respect to love making other than some contraceptives. We have made all kinds of innovation but why we have taken it for granted that going through the same actions again and again while making love, is going to make lovemaking very interesting.

I consider most of the women who happen to be someone’s wife or girlfriend are very compassionate. My friend’s wife (whom we can consider as the representative of all women) only told him that my friend (who can also be considered as representative of men fraternity) is becoming a little boring. In fact, I would like to reiterate the fact that all men become utterly boring to the best of my understanding and belief though I do not have any mechanism to prove it.

When the Christian missionaries came to the Indian subcontinent, people discovered that they knew only one posture of making love. This position was the woman underneath and the man on top of the delicate woman. In India, that posture is called the missionary posture.

If we look into our past, we find that India is a land of many inventions particularly during the period of Vedas. Our Vedas are the storehouse of tremendous ideas, innovations and scientific theories. There are still researches going on considering different ideas given in Vedas. India is an ancient land. It is the birthplace of many sciences. The question that I referred above is also addressed in our scriptures.

Vatsyayana has authored a book of tremendous importance entitled “Kamasutra” almost five thousand years before. The meaning of “Kamasutra” is hints for making love. This kind of work can come from a man of deep meditation like Vatsyayana. He has created more than eighty-four postures for lovemaking.

The great Vatsyayana had recognised the fact that the same love posture creates boredom. After some time it is bound to bring the feeling of stupidity. It is because one is always doing the same thing. Repetitive thing. If someone from another planet (say mars) happens to witness this entire episode then that particular person will have the feeling that what is this stupid thing these couples are doing every day. 

Vatsyayana invented different postures to make the love life of couples a little interesting. I believe, nobody in the whole world has written a book of the calibre of Kamasutra. It could only have come from a man of immense clarity, a man of deep meditativeness.

On the contrary, what kind of lovemaking ordinarily people used to do? The same actions again and again. Ultimately, it becomes boring.

Thus, I remember I suggested my friend read "Kamasutra" and get some inspiration from it so that he would not be boring to his wife.  

Especially for women, it is more boring. From my experience and discussion with my friends and also by reading some articles on these issues, what I could understand that man is finished in two or three minutes and the woman has not even started.

All around the world, cultures have enforced in the minds of women that they are not supposed even to enjoy or move or be playful particularly during lovemaking. If they do it, it is considered to be `dirty'. People would say that these things are to be done by prostitutes, not by the ladies. Ladies have to lie down almost dead and let the man do whatsoever he wants to do. 

There is nothing new in it. There is nothing new even to see this. I do not find any reason as to why people find pornography so interesting. There is nothing new in it. Perhaps people are getting excited to see the pornography due to the adventure involved in it like it has to be seen without the knowledge of anyone, in someone's house when all the family members are out for some time.

If some one's wife is telling that he has become boring then he should not take it as a personal disrespect. I told my friend that his wife is telling him something really sincere and honest.

I bluntly asked him to remember how many times he had given her orgasmic joy or he has simply using her to throw out his energy. If this is the case (and obviously this was the case otherwise why she would call him boring) he has reduced her down to the level of a commodity. 

In spite of all this, she is not even allowed to resist or tell that she is not comfortable. The culture, prevalent all over the world, has not allowed her to do so. She has been conditioned to accept it. But this acceptance is not joyful for her. 

Another possible reason for becoming boring is that one used to make love on the same bed where they used to fight every day. In fact, fighting is the preface then feeling tired, and some negotiation is needed.

In most of the people’s life, love is only a negotiation. If someone is a man of aesthetic sensibility, his love chamber should be a sacred place. In this love chamber, life is born. People should enter into their love chamber with deep respect.

Love should not be an abrupt thing. Love should have a preface of beautiful music, of dancing together, of meditating together. It is a kind of meditation. 

Love should not be a mind thing. Almost all people who are about to make love are continuously thinking of how to make love and then go to sleep. It should come out spontaneously. If spontaneously love happens in a sacred atmosphere it will have a different quality.

We, men, should understand that the woman is capable of multiple orgasms. This is particularly because she does not lose any energy. Man is capable of only one orgasm and he loses energy. As he goes on growing older it becomes more and more difficult. This difference has to be understood. The woman is on the receptive end.

Man's sexuality is local, like local anaesthesia. A woman's body is sexual all over. She is not expected to have an orgasmic explosion unless each cell of her body is involved in it. This biological difference between men and women needs to be understood.  

As per one research report, it is reported that approximately 99% of the women around the world could not get orgasmic joy. Even if it is slightly on the higher side and for the sake of argument let us consider that the figure is not 99% but only 90% then also this is really very unfortunate. 

There is a need that she should not be treated like a lady. She has to be treated as an authentic woman. The lady is a social construct, the woman is a biological construct and created by existence, i.e., created by God.

I told my friend to take care of these pieces of advice so that his wife would not call him a little boring and he will be really interesting and juicy to his wife.

I said his wife is claiming to be a victim. But if we look carefully, every human being is a victim of stupid ideologies. These stupid ideologies have created strange guilt feelings among us. These stupid ideologies do not allow a woman (and man also in many cases) to be playful while making love.

There are many people I met in my village who believe that making love is a kind of sin they are committing and that hell is not far off. This is ridiculous. 

Love making is a meditative process. Men's and women's whole presence has to be there, showering their love, beauty and grace on each other. Then they will not feel themselves to be a victim, otherwise, they are a victim of fake ideologies. The most important part is that no one (Man and Woman both) will feel guilty and depressed. I strongly believe that lovemaking is a form of creativity. No creative person feels depressed and guilty. His participation in the universe by his creative actions makes him tremendously fulfilled and gives him dignity.

I think, being creative is the birthright of every man. But the question is how many people really claim it. I believe there is no difficulty in claiming one’s creativity. It is so easy to use energy in creative fields like painting, gardening, writing, learning music, and dancing etc. One can learn and test his/her creativity every morning when he/she is cleaning his/her teeth, i.e., in how many ways, in how much time teeth can be cleaned. One should learn anything that changes his destructive energy into creative energy. This will transform negativity into positivity.

Bouncing Back

As it is said that with every good thing some bad things are associated and vice versa, similarly the incident of walking 20 km in absence of Rs. 20/-(refer previous story "The Best Friends"), though it cannot be said to be a very good memory, had given me a lot of confidence and filled me with positive energy. Prior to March 2014, I was always known for my academic writings. I used to keep myself busy in writings, be it research paper, books, seminar papers or even fiction writings. But all of a sudden, the situation had changed.

It was again the same me who had not done any academic work in the last almost one year and totally out of the academic world. I could not concentrate on any constructive work. During this period of one year, I had undergone considerable mental trauma. There were innumerable gossips considering me on the University campus. Everybody has their own story regarding me with the best possible explanation understandable only to them. Stories related to me were getting popular inside the University campus like hot cake and it was spicier than the stories about a girl who all of a sudden become the talk of the town. 

I was often humiliated by saying "What happened, you again become Assistant Professor?" Sometimes, people also make fun of me by saying "IIIT return". I was totally shattered. Most of them were the same people who at one point of time happens to be a very good companion of mine. I had conceptualised this poem during that time which goes like:

“जो कहते थे जिंदगी गुजरे तेरी बांहो में,
आज मेरी बातों से उनका दम घुटता है” 

It was not that nobody was standing with me during those days. There were some people who were very good friends of mine. They were standing by me, supporting me and fighting for me. But many times, I got to know that a certain section of people had scolded them for helping and supporting me. 

Every second person to whom I met during those days treats me as if I was a criminal. To be very frank, sometimes I felt and in fact treated like that of an anti-social element in the society during those days. 

On 31^st March 2015, I was preparing my balance sheet of life (I do it two times in a year, one on the day of my arrival on this earth, i.e. 18^th September and second on the last day of the financial year, i.e., 31^st March). I found that during the last more than one year, I had not done anything substantial other than to keep myself frustrating and quarrelling with my family members and friends. I was introspecting the reasons for this but that also had given me another dose of frustration. I started losing faith in myself.   

One day, I was reading Geeta and discussed it with my friends. Suddenly, I realised that whatever may be the situation, one should keep doing his duties. I also believed in this philosophy of Geeta, i.,e, "कर्मण्य वधिकारस्ते, माँ फलेषु कदाचनः" but that day, I don't know why I realised its true worth from core of my heart.

I do not know the reason but I could feel one positive energy in myself. A few weeks back, I had travelled the distance between University to Silchar town on foot and it had boosted my confidence. I was also thinking that God has made that master plan to re-install my lost faith and confidence. 

I was thinking seriously that the situation would not be the same always and if that was the bad phase of my life then good phase would also come soon like with every positive thing negative things are also associated. Similarly, if it was bad then something good must be there. And then the things would be started to turn in my favour. 

When the dark days would be over, then I would have nothing to show to the world as what had been done by me during the last few years. Nobody would be listening that due to some problem I could not do any academic and research work.

But the question was how can someone who is on such a situation like me at that time concentrate on doing something positive. The situations prevailing during that time were enough to put any normal person into Chinta (tension) viz a viz abnormal mental pain and the resultant would be mental disorder, anxiety, sleeplessness and frustration and I was also undergoing all these.

On that day, I started to think deeply and started doing Chintan. Chintan brings some solution to a problem in hand whereas Chinta brings nervous breakdown and anxiety and does not bring any solution.

In such a situation where I was not having anything, I started to introspect about the things that were with me during those days and came to the conclusion that I had plenty of time. I was not required to engage any classes nor guiding dissertation students (who were another source of anxiety because most of the time they come unprepared and with copied materials as well as copied idea). I was not invited to any official programmes of the University. The level of my anti-social like-treatment was such that I was also not invited in the personal programmes like wedding function of the son of one of my colleagues where people from the entire city were invited and though he met me several times in the University but not invited me. It seems that everybody had taken it for granted that this so-called Dr Ranjit Singh is not going to last for long.

Like every adversity brings some opportunity, this adversity has given me an opportunity in the form of plenty of time. And now it was me to decide which way this time should be utilised. I had to show to the world that I was still alive and nobody can forget me like this. After all, I belong to a race and community which is known for its fighting and fight back. All these features are present in my DNA too which I have inherited from my ancestors, and I think everybody should be proud of one's ancestors and their achievements. I was also reminded of SHER of Bahadur Shah Zafar 

“खामिशियों की मौत गंवारा नही मुझे
शीशा हु टूट कर भी खनक छोड़ जाऊँगा”

I decided to focus on the task in which I had some expertise, i.e., writing. But what to write? For writing, we need not only time but also some ideas. Suddenly, I had seen the syllabus of B.Com Programme of Assam University and since I had already written textbooks on ‘business environment’ for other universities, I picked up one syllabus of the business environment for Assam University and decided to write the textbook for the same. 

But again it was not so easy particularly when someone has not written anything for last more than one year. I remember I sat every day with my laptop for almost 10 days but could not write a single word.

One day, I was watching a cricket match, probably it was a repeat telecast. In that particular match, both the batsmen were having a tough time in scoring runs. Fours and sixes were not coming and one after another maiden over was going on. Then all of a sudden, I observed that the scoreboard was moving up though boundaries were not coming. On careful observation, I found that they were focusing on ones and twos and keep the scoreboard moving.

This had given me a new strike. I had decided to sit on the computer and write only one paragraph every day. Writing of one paragraph was not that difficult. On the first day, I had written one paragraph and I found a great deal of energy and enthusiasm in me. Then every day I kept on writing one paragraph only. This, writing of one paragraph continued for a few weeks (almost three weeks). Gradually my speed accelerated and I started writing several pages in one day and after four months, I found that book on ‘Business Environment’ was ready. 

I continued this momentum and within another six months, I was able to complete my first fiction book entitled “Presiding Babu” which was pending since long back. Since then there are many such incidents like the publishing of papers in Indexed Journals and seminar papers, etc. Now, I used to listen from people as to how could I do all these in the midst of all such problems. “Presiding babu” is becoming popular among the readers. But the journey was not so easy.

Last month, I was watching Salman Khan’s Sultan and one famous dialogue was uttered by the Character Sultan “मैन पहलवानी छोड़ी है, लड़ना नही भूल" (I left wrestling but didn't forget fighting). I could relate it to my story as well. I was out of writing for almost 14 months but have not forgotten writing.

So all that we need is to put ourselves on the right track. If we have to fly we have to be on the runway first and gradually generate momentum. Once we are on the runway, momentum is generated, nobody can stop us from flying.