The Universe Conspires-III

“Sir, I have something to tell you”, the peon of the office of Registrar, Dibrugarh University said to me in a very low voice. I turned towards him. He has an affection towards me and generally, I use to maintain a very cordial relationship with any of my junior level staff. He came closer to me and said, “I have seen the advertisement that will come out for the recruitment of regular faculty in CMS”. CMS stands for Centre for Management Studies (CMS), Dibrugarh University (The Department of Business Administration is named as CMS in Dibrugarh University).

It was the second week of October 2008 and I went to the registrar office for some work and the time was around 5.30 pm. Needless to say, most people had departed by that time and very few people were present in the building in which the office of the registrar was situated. CMS was established in the year 2003 and five years of its existence has not seen any permanent faculty in the Department. All the teachers in the department were contractual. There was news that three permanent posts were created for the three oldest surviving faculty members. These three faculty members were me and two other colleagues of mine who joined CMS right from its beginning. The required specializations were also designed accordingly. So, there was one specialization for ‘accounting and finance’ as well which my specialization was. The procedural formalities were being completed. The peon was talking about that advertisement.

“Yes, I know that by the next week that advertisement will be released”, I said to him.

“But I have to tell you something else also”, he said in the same soft and low voice.

“Please tell”, I was a little irritated this time. I was thinking that what else he will tell me about this advertisement, the previous day only the Director and Vice-Chancellor was telling us about this new advertisement for recruiting faculty members for CMS and me and another colleague of mine were present in that meeting. Is this peon who knows more than me who is senior faculty in the CMS, though contractual?

“Sir, don’t you have finance specialization?” he tried to confirm my specialization.

“Yes”, I said in an irritating tone.

“That the post is reserved for ST”, he said in the same tone this time too.

“What?” I said in anguish and surprise both.

“Yes Sir, I just saw the file where the distribution of the post is mentioned and against the post which was marked for the specialization of Finance, it is reserved for ST. I have seen it from my own eyes and just now”, he said to me. He then took his bicycle and left for his home.

I was speechless and was not able to understand what to do next. If he was speaking the truth, it means I won’t be able to apply for that post once the advertisement is issued.

I came home and sat silently without talking to anyone. My elder daughter was playing with me but I was not able to involve with her. I opened the drawer and took out one envelope. It was an interview call from ‘Assam University, Silchar’. Though I had applied for the post of Assistant Professor at Assam University, Silchar I made up my mind not to go for the interview because at that time I was hopeful that our contractual positions at CMS would be regularized and since that place was very near to my home town, it would have been the best for me to serve remaining at my birthplace. Often people asked me about my decision to appear for the interview at any other Institutions and I use to tell them that given the chance I would remain at CMS if the post is regularized. I was not able to think of a situation of working at any other place other than my hometown. 

But today that dream was looking impossible due to the fact that the post of finance specialization was reserved for the ST category. The contractual post on which I was working was also expiring in the month of December 2008 and meaning thereby the chances of becoming jobless if the contract would not be renewed after that which again would depend upon a lot of other factors and uncertainties. I have the family to take care of. My father was retired and my brother’s job was still not certain. The whole family’s responsibility was on me.

I had decided to appear for the interview at Assam University, Silchar. The interview was scheduled to be held in New Delhi. It was almost after 5-6 days from that date when this incident happened. I opened my laptop started searching for a train ticket to New Delhi. I got one confirm ticket through the tatkal scheme. After two days, I boarded the train to Delhi, reached there and appeared for the interview.

After a few days, I got the news of my success in the interview. In the meantime, the advertisement for the regular positions was also released and as expected, the post of assistant professor with finance specialization was reserved for ST. I had no other choice but to join Assam University, Silchar. Definitely, it was not a pleasant decision to be made. Leaving my hometown, my own people, I had to relocate to a place which was totally unknown to me and I was not at all happy with all these developments but I had to accept all those changes out of compulsion.

Initially, I was not enjoying my stay at Assam University but I gradually got some very interesting and good friends over there. I started enjoying their company. Soon Assam University started looking charming to me and I started to get myself involved in most of the activities of the University. During that time I got some most valuable friends, who are Gem and I learned a lot in their company. One thing that helped me most at Assam University was its heterogeneity and heterogeneous culture which was totally missing at Dibrugarh University. There were people from all corners of the country who came to Assam University with their own understanding of the subject and merit. Often a rich discussion happened and many of the concepts of mine got cleared during those discussions and the discussions were rich because everybody has learned the subject from different places and have their own understanding. Soon this started to be reflected in my publications also. I was able to write some very good papers due to the inspiration received from the company of my friends at Assam University. Moreover, I did not know any person at Silchar so the only way to pass time was to involve myself in writing a research paper. More than 4 years have passed and then I applied for a higher post at the Indian Institute of Information Technology Allahabad and got selected. A large part of the credit to this success goes to the fact that I was having some very good quality research papers and serving in a Central University.

Now I often think what would have been had the post of Assistant Professor for finance specialization was not reserved for ST. the answer is very simple I remain would have been Assistant Professor at CMS which is still a self-financing department.     

 

The Universe Conspires-II

The landline phone installed at my home (Mobile was not introduced in Assam at that time) rang and I took the call.

“Hello”, I said.

A known voice touched my ears, “This is Prof Bezborah Speaking”. It was the call from the then Director of Centre for Management Studies (CMS), Dibrugarh University, Dibrugarh Prof. Pranjal Bezborah. It was the first week of December 2003 and time was around 8.00 pm. Previous morning only I appeared for an interview for the post of Assistant Professor (Lecturer at that time, because the post of Lecturer was re-designated as Assistant Professor in 2008) at Centre for Management Studies, Dibrugarh University. I greeted him. Then he said, “Your interview was good and I am happy to see your performance at the interview.”

I was not able to frame correct sentences due to the mixed feeling of anxiety and happiness and with the fumbling voice, I asked, “thank you, sir, it was all because of your teachings. Please tell me what should I do next?”

It would be important to state here that Prof. Bezborah was my teacher at the Master degree level and needless to say that he has a natural love and affection towards me which is still there.   

He paused for a while and said very swiftly, “You will have to join CMS now as faculty”.

His words were like the dose of fresh air entering the room which was locked for many days and did not see fresh air for many days. There was no limit to my happiness. It seems it was the moment for which I dreamt of since my childhood. My previous appointment was in the Department of Commerce, Dibrugarh University but that job was very uncertain because the contractual job had to be renewed every six months. Though the offer at CMS was also contractual there were two advantages. Firstly the salary was 50% more than the previous job and secondly, though it was contractual the contract was of regular nature meaning thereby, it need not be renewed after every six months.

Though I appeared for the interview on the previous day only but the decision to appear in the interview was not so easy.

One month back

I and my friend Bipasha Chetiya were doing examination duty in an exam. Bipasha was also serving the Department of Commerce in the same capacity as that of me. In fact, we were given the same appointment order where the name of both of us was mentioned. During the examination, we used to have some discussion. She said, “Are you going to appear in the interview for the post of Lecturer at CMS?”

“When is the interview?” I asked with a surprise because I was not aware of the fact.

“Last week, the advertisement came in the Assam Tribune. I saw it and thinking to appear in it. You can also appear because there is a post of Lecturer in Finance as well. The interview date is 17^th November and still, there is time to apply”, She said to me along with her suggestions.

“Are you not happy with this job? The new job in CMS will also be contractual”, I asked her and also tried to get some clarity over the issue.

“The salary there is more than this and moreover, that contract will not be like our present contract which needs to be reviewed after every six months. So there is more certainty in that job at least better than this one”, she explained and tried to convince me to apply for the new job and I was convinced with her words. Immediately I made up my minds to apply for that job at CMS. But still, I asked her, “What about the application which we had submitted against the advertisement for recruiting a lecturer (On leave vacancy) in the Department of Commerce?”

“That we can always appear whenever that interview will be conducted. No one can stop you from appearing in that interview”, she again convinced me.

After I joined the university in a contractual position, there was an advertisement for a regular scale but that vacancy was a leave vacancy. But at that time these things (regular/leave/contractual) did not matter for me. I used to submit an application for all kinds of vacancy if it was in any college or University. I also applied for that post, and on that day I was referring to that advertisement only to my friend, and she again convinced me to appear for the new interview.  

16 November 2003

The natural environment at Tinsukia, Assam in the second week of November 2003 was mild cold, but the political environment was very hot. Northeast Frontier Railway has issued an advertisement for the recruitment of its grade 4 employees and people from all over India have applied for it. A large number of people from Bihar had also applied for it and All Assam Students’ Union (AASU) has shown its protest of recruiting people from outside the state of Assam to work in Assam and to register its protest, AASU has called “ASSAM BAND” (Strike) on 17^th November 2003, the date on which the interview was scheduled.

I thought to go to Dibrugarh on 16^th of November 2003. I called one of my junior who was residing in a private hostel near the University. He has agreed to host me for one night. I took the bus to Dibrugarh and went there. It was a dark evening by the time I reached the hostel. He welcomed me and I spent the night in the hostel.

Next day was the interview. I went to the Vice Chancellor’s office where it was scheduled. A good number of candidates were there. But after some time a person from the office of Vice-Chancellor came out and informed that due to strike the interview was postponed and the next date would be announced later. We dispersed from the place but I could not come to my home at Tinsukia because due to strike not a single mode of transport was functional. I spent that night also at the home of another friend and the next day I came to my home.

5^th December 2003

The interview was rescheduled on 6^th December 2003. I took all types of preparation such as keeping all my testimonials properly in a file, print out of my resume which was just one page at that time so that I could appear for the interview smoothly.

Suddenly I received a call from my erstwhile HoD. He said in his trademark loud voice, “Are you going to appear for the interview at CMS which will hold tomorrow?” 

I said with an enthusiasm, “Yes sir”.

“See, you are working in our Department and your contract has to be renewed for the next six month. If you got selected then we have to find some alternative for you. But why are you applying there? That post is contractual and it will remain contractual. There is no hope that in the near future it will be regularized. Moreover, you have submitted your application for a regular post in our Department and here is a chance to get a regular pay scale”, he said. 

I was not able to speak anything. All my enthusiasm had gone. I was, in fact, fumbling.

After a pause for less than a minute he went of speaking, “See Ranjit, as you are my student, I have affection towards you and you are a bright student of mine. So, I like you and I am interested in the well being of yours, so take any decision very cautiously”, he said and this time he was little soft.  

“Yes sir, I will definitely take care of your advice, and it is very important to me”, I said.

“And one more thing I just wanted to convey to you if you go to the other Department, my interest in you will be reduced”, this time there was a kind of warning in his voice and then he put down the call.

I was much tensed after this conversation. Till then I was thinking that if I could not be selected then I had a job though temporary in nature to fall back with. But I was worried after this conversation about the continuity of the contractual job. All my family members were tensed and finally, we have decided not to appear in the interview scheduled for the next day.

 

6^th December 2003

Next day, I got up early in the morning and after having my breakfast I was sitting idle. All of a sudden I thought to call one of my Professors who later on became my PhD research guide. I called him and told him that I was not going to appear in the interview which was scheduled on the same day and also the reason for the said decision.

“You are not appearing in this interview due to the fear of losing the present job. Are you certain that this job will not end after some time and this will continue till eternity?” he asked.

“No sir”, I said.

 “So this job will come to an end anyhow after some time. But if you succeed in that interview then that will be of regular nature through contractual and later on, there are chances of getting it regular. Even though it is not regularized but your experience of working in Management Department will have more weightage and you will have access to IIMs also”, he said with a suggestive tone.

He went on speaking, “Now most of the new regular posts are coming for the Management Department. So according to me, there is no harm in appearing for the interview and taking a chance. Moreover, appearing in an interview itself is an experience”, he said in the same flow.

His words worked like a miracle and all of a sudden I was fully charged to appear for the interview. Since I already had a preparation to appear for the interview, it took little time for me to get ready and I left for the interview.

I appeared in the interview. There were many candidates. All were from very good and reputed institutions, however, the person who has initially inspired me to appear for the interview, Ms Bipasha Chetiya, did not appear. My interview went well and after the interview, I came back to my home.

Next day, Prof. Bezborah called me (the call which I referred to in the first paragraph) to inform me about my success in the interview. I joined CMS after a few days and served there for almost 5 years. CMS has given me almost everything which a person desires in the early phase of his/her career. I did my PhD in Business Administration while working at CMS and today I am serving in a management department is large because of the fact that my PhD is in Business Administration. I completed one sponsored project sponsored by UNICEF, published many research papers and much more such academic and professional assignments. Prof. Bezborah was a fatherly figure for all of us working in CMS and he had given us all kinds of freedom to explore ourselves. He nurtured us especially me for all kinds of future academic and professional assignments. Today, I feel confident in resolving any big issue and the credit goes to the teachings of my teachers especially Prof. Bezborah who has given me free hand and shown his trust and confidence on me. The regular post advertised in the Department of Commerce was given to Bipasha in which the salary was much higher than that of CMS. However, as stated by my teacher, the experience of serving in a Management Department took me to complete the FDPM from IIM Ahmadabad and finally to the Department of Business Administration, Assam University and then to Indian Institute of Information Technology Allahabad. Had Bipasha not informed me about the advertisement and convinced me to appear for the interview, it would not have been possible. It confirms the saying of Paulo Coelho “We warriors of light must be prepared to have patience in difficult times and to know The universe is conspiring in our favour, even though we may not understand how”.    

 The Universe Conspires

“Mr Ranjit, we cannot give you a full-time appointment in our college and giving part-time appointment in college to a fresher is against our policy”, the Principal Mrs Surjit Singh said in a soft voice but rudely. Her words were very disappointing to me but I had no other way than to accept it and to leave her office. It was a week before that I was called for an interview at G S Lohia Girls College, Tinsukia. One day I was conveyed a message that I had been selected and the Principal had asked me to meet her in her office during the office hours. There was no telephone at my home, nor it was the era of emails so one person came to my home to convey this news. I was thrilled, and everyone in my family was very happy that soon I was going to join in a college.

I went to her office and meet her. She said, “Ranjit, will you mind if we offer you an appointment in school instead of college and you have to take a few classes in college as well because we do not give full-time appointment in college.”

“But mam, I applied in college”, I said with an exclamation mark on my face.

“Yes, I know, but in college, we can offer you part-time appointment only which can give you only Rs 2,000/- per month and in school, we offer full state government prescribed pay scale”, she said firmly.

Actually, the college in which I applied has an integrated school also and she was asking me to join in that school, but I dreamt to be a teacher in a college and I was not going to give up so easily.

I said, “Madam, I don’t think that I will be comfortable to teach school students, so if the full-time appointment is not possible in college then I am okay with a part-time appointment.”

She responded very quickly, “Don’t take any decision in such a hurry. Take some time. Discuss with your parents and then come to me after 12 noon.”

I said, “Okay madam.” I greeted her and silently left her chamber.

I came to my home where my parents were waiting for me in excitement. After all, their son was going to be an Assistant Professor in a local college which is a very reputed college in the locality. They felt pride in this. But when I told them this condition, they were shocked and sad. The job was the extreme necessity for my family as my father was retired from the job of a school teacher. I told them about the outcome of the meeting.

They supported my decision. I went to the Principal’s chamber once again at 12.00 noon as asked by her. I said, “Mam, I have decided to work in college only, salary is not that important for me. So, I can manage with a lesser salary also”.

“This is not possible. The part-time appointment is not given to any fresher”, again she was very rude, and she said these words without looking at my face and continue to read something in the files.

I came out of her chamber and told the developments to my parents. They were sad but not disheartened. Life kept ongoing.

When I passed out my Master degree, my friends were applying for a job at different places. A few of them have got the job of a school teacher. I also came to know about those job openings but I did not apply for them.

2

"Ranjit, Our Head of the Department has asked me to tell you to call him, so please talk to him", One classmate Ms Antara Chanda said to me over the phone at around 8.00 pm on June 16 2003.

I said, "Why?"

"I heard there is one contractual position for Lecturer in the Department and therefore, he wants our batch of students to apply for the same. He must be calling in this regard only so far I could guess". She said.

"Has he not asked you to apply?", I asked her. 

"He has asked me also to apply but since I am working in a school  which is more or less a regular type of job and this offer will be purely contractual and that too only for 5 months, so I told him that I will not apply for this job", she has given her decision on that proposed job offer. 

"If we go by this logic then most of our batchmates are working in some schools or in some organisations and their job is at least better than this offer in terms of regularity and therefore, they should not apply", I said. 

"They should not apply, if you ask for my opinion", she said. 

After putting down the call, I dialled the number of HoD. He was my teacher in my Master degree classes. He had a natural love and affection for me. He told me that there is a requirement of a teacher in the department and if I am interested in the job. I immediately said, “yes sir, I am interested in the job”.

He said, “If you are interested, then tomorrow please submit your application, bio-data and copy of testimonials in my office”. He took a small pause and then said, “This will be a contractual appointment initially for six months only and depending upon the performance of the candidate, it will be further renewed for next six months. At this time we will no be able to pay you a full salary. Anyone who joins at this post will be paid Rs 5,000/- per month only”.

I said, “Sir, at this time, getting any opportunity is more important than salary”. After that, I put down the call.

Immediately, I took my bicycle and went to a cyber café. It was the time when having a personal computer was considered to be a luxurious item and not many people could afford to have a personal computer of their own. Internet was also not very common. The only place to access the internet and computer, for people like us, was Cyber café. I typed one application and CV of mine, got the photocopy of my testimonials.

Next day, when I went to submit the application, I came to know that the Head of the Department had made a similar call to my other classmates also and they had also submitted their application for the same post. Again, I was unhappy and anxious about my chances of getting selected. But nothing was in my hands but to submit my application.

After a few weeks, I came to know that my candidature was considered by the committee members and I was asked to join on the very first day of the opening of University after summer vacation. Later on, I came to know that in the meeting of the committee held to decide the candidature of the candidates for the post of lecturer on contract, the committee members were of the view that since this was contractual employment for six months only so only those applications would be considered who are not working anywhere. It was because that job was very uncertain. What would have been the fate of that employment after six months was not known to anyone. So if anyone working somewhere else was given that offer and if the contract could not be renewed after six months, then it would have been very unfair to the candidate and in that case, he would have lost his/her earlier regular job.

Since all other friends of mine were working in some schools at regular positions, their candidature was not considered. I was not working anywhere, and therefore, my candidature was considered, and I was offered that contractual offer.

It was my first job. While working there, I gained some experience, and on the basis of that experience, I applied for the post of Assistant Professor in the Centre for Management Studies, Dibrugarh University and got selected. From there I went to Assam University, Silchar and then Indian Institute of Information Technology Allahabad.

The reason for my present state of being is given differently by different people, but I think if I would have been selected at G S Lohia Girls College, Tinsukia, I would not have made it to this point. It confirms the saying of Paulo Coelho “We warriors of light must be prepared to have patience in difficult times and to know the Universe is conspiring in our favour, even though we may not understand how”     

Nothing is free

“Where are you?” The Head of the Department asked me over the phone. I was in another department of the university and told him the fact. He said in a serious tone, “The Dean is asking for you, please come immediately to the meeting room of our Department.” 

I came immediately. The Dean asked, “Where were you, Ranjit? You are not visible in the Department nowadays.”

I said, “Sir, I was here only and most of the time I remain in the Department.”

“See Ranjit, These things won’t work in this Department. You have made yourself totally alien to this Department. Yesterday there was a press conference and you were not present in that conference”, he said.

I said, “Sir, I am not alien to this Department rather very much a part of it. And so far as the press conference is concerned, I was not informed.”

He said in anger, “How come, other members of the Department, were present?”

I said in a firm voice, “How do I know? I have not been given any information and I thought my presence is not sought for and therefore, I didn’t come to the press conference and moreover, this is a University Department and any communication should be through official channels only. Why should I rely on any information which I received informally?”

When he found himself in an uncomfortable position then he tried to change the topic. Intelligent people have mastery in doing such kind of things. If they found themselves not strong in any situation/argument then they try to change the ground and plot. He took out a paper from the file placed before him and said in the same tone, “You have applied for a leave in the midst of the semester. You will be out of station for the whole week. Have you thought about what will happen to your classes for the whole week?”

He said this in such a tone as if I would be out of station not for one week but for one semester and nobody else had taken any leave in the department before me. He was trying to give an impression as if nobody takes leave in the midst of the semester. If I would have been his favourite, there would not be any problem in allowing me for the leave, but I was the one who did not listen to him nor ask him for any kind of advice.

It’s not that I disrespect him or think that he was incompetent. But I did not have the habit of asking for or seeking advice for unnecessary things. I show people used to ask for his advice with regard to the journal in which their paper is to be submitted and he usually advises as if he had a lot of publication in those journals, however, the fact was that he did not have any publication except for a journal which was published by him only and in that journal only his papers used to be published.

Buttering is an art and one such skill of buttering is to make the person feel important and in the process I found some of my colleagues to seek advice with respect to the problems which might not be discussed with him like seeking advice regarding some bills to be submitted to the Accounts Department of the University, designing course structure and Dean used to advice them even he did not teach that course in the past. Sometimes, I also thought to impress him with my butter, but soon realised that the time that I would have utilised for this purpose would be more than the time which I would have to consume for doing any work had his blessings were not upon me. I also realised that instead of spending time in such activities, I focus on doing my work than my work would be done properly and need not to spend time, effort and money to impress him unnecessarily.

Finally, I realised nothing is free of cost. There is a cost of flattering a person and standing on one’s knees and there is a cost of doing one’s own work properly and standing on one’s own feet. For me, the later seems to be affordable.        

I said in a low voice, “But sir, it is necessary for me to go and that is why I am asking for the earned leave.”

Dean said, “See Ranjit, Leave is not a matter of right and you have not filled up the leave application form also properly.”

He then starts looking at the form with an intention to find some mistake in it but he could not find any mistake. Then he pointed out his fingers at one point where the reason for the leave was to be written. I had written the reason “PERSONAL”.

He said, “The reason cannot be so vague, you should write it in detail”. I thought about what detail I should write. Since I have started working at University, the reason for leave I always wrote ‘personal’ and nobody told that it is vague, but on that day I was totally shattered. Moreover, if the detail reason is to be written instead of ‘personal’ then how come it would be ‘personal’?   

I took the application form from his hand and said, “Ok sir, if you so desire I won’t go”. I ripped the form in front of him and came out of the meeting room. The Head of the Department was sitting there and he did not speak a single word. I was expecting him to interfere but he did not. With this, he did not do any harm to me but from that day onward, he has lost all respect from me.

In fact, it was not urgent for me to take leave at that time. But by stopping me to avail the leave, the ego of the dean got satisfied and moreover, I ripped the leave application form in front of him which had compelled him to think that I would not compromise with him in any way and, probably, it was the effect of that incident that whenever I submitted any leave application, the dean did not put any objection and allowed it without any question.  This story has given me two lessons, first, one should not argue with a person who is very high on his ego. It is better to satisfy the ego of an idiot rather than to fight or argue with him. Secondly,  one should not bend down in front of egoist person and this gives them a message for their future of not unnecessarily interfere with you. Due to the fear of losing their ego, they will not interrupt in a persons' way whom they know to be non-compromising. Later I had taken leave when PG admission in the department was going on and it was indeed difficult to grant leave for anyone, but when I submitted my application for leave instead of denying the Dean was trying to find ways to grant it.

Disclaimer: The story is fictitious and any resemblance to any person living or dead is purely coincidental. 

पुनः मूसको भवः... Coming back

The Dean asked, 'You both, please leave this room. I have something very confidential to discuss with Dr Singh, addressing my two colleagues who were present with me in the Head of Department's chamber. I had returned to my previous University that day after a year of service at another institution. 

It was the humid morning of July 31st, 2014, and the heat and humidity weighed heavily upon me, more so than on anyone else on campus. This was due to my return from a higher position at my new job, a circumstance that had left me utterly shattered. I expected, perhaps naively, that colleagues at my old organization would offer me some sympathy. This expectation stemmed from my previous five-year tenure there, a period marked by success and positive relationships. I believed, or perhaps merely hoped, that people's fondness for me during my previous stint was genuine.

Entering the campus that morning, I felt a barrage of unseen questions in the gaze of every passerby. Fifteen months had elapsed since my last visit, and for the first time in my life, I found myself deliberately averting my eyes from familiar faces. Shame, however, was not due to any wrongdoing on my part. I was bearing the brunt of a situation I had no control over, the consequences of others' actions. While explaining my return from my new position to colleagues in the Head of Department's office, I sensed a subtle undercurrent of judgment. They seemed to be searching for flaws in me, convinced that my appointment must have been revoked due to some personal shortcoming.

Two other colleagues were present. The Dean entered the room. I respectfully touched his feet, a gesture I typically extend to those I consider intellectually superior. He acknowledged it and invited me to sit.

As the others left the room at his request, the Dean turned to me and inquired, 'You came back?' My mind was a whirlwind of conflicting thoughts. I felt deeply embarrassed about returning to my previous position, a demotion after accepting a promotion at another institution. The morning had already begun with a sarcastic jab from a colleague: "Oh, you came back? Why again did you become Assistant Professor?" This humiliation fueled my reluctance to make eye contact with anyone I encountered that day. I anticipated the Dean would inquire about my return, forcing me to recount the familiar story I had been sharing all morning. However, his silence was more unsettling. When he finally spoke, his words were a chilling pronouncement: 'But your return is not glorious.'

I acknowledged his statement with a simple, 'I know.' My return was not a triumphant victory, not a Nobel Prize-winning achievement. It was not glorious. He, however, insisted on the point, repeating, 'You should remember that your return is not glorious.'

I reiterated, 'Yes, sir, I understand completely.' My return was not glorious; given the circumstances, it could never be. I expected him to inquire about the reasons for my departure or at least to express some concern for my well-being. But he remained silent, offering no words of welcome or even a cursory inquiry about my health. His demeanour lacked any warmth, as if my return was an unwelcome intrusion.

He declared, 'This Department's journey truly began when I arrived.' I was accustomed to this narrative, a familiar refrain since my first day at the University. In every meeting, he consistently emphasized that the Department's progress was solely attributable to his arrival as if the Department had been stagnant prior to his tenure. While significant advancements had occurred during his time, these developments were paralleled across departments and universities nationwide, largely driven by the burgeoning Indian economy since 2004. However, he persistently claimed sole credit for these achievements. I remained silent.

He continued, 'We worked as a team, elevating the Department to become the flagship of the University. We envisioned a future where this Department would achieve international prominence, surpassing even the ambitions of the IIMs. In the global academic landscape, the finest business schools are often affiliated with universities. India stands unique in its separation of management education into specialized institutions. However, I believe universities inherently possess a greater capacity. They are vast and interconnected, fostering interdisciplinary research – a significant advantage.' His comparisons to the IIMs often elicited a ripple of amusement among the faculty. I considered suggesting he visit an IIM to gain a firsthand understanding of their work culture but ultimately decided to remain silent. It was clear this was his platform to speak, and he did.

Then, a chilling accusation: 'Some unscrupulous individuals within this University, including yourself, sought to undermine this Department's success through petty politics.’ The accusation, 'including yourself’, left me reeling. I immediately began to scrutinize my own actions, desperately trying to understand what had led him to believe I had tarnished the department's reputation. My mind raced. During my time here, I dedicated myself fully to teaching, research, and extracurricular activities. I had published numerous papers in prestigious journals, earning praise from the Dean himself. I had never missed a class and diligently fulfilled all my academic and administrative duties. Could these contributions somehow be interpreted as detrimental to the department?

He continued his tirade, 'By leaving for an external institution, you chose a different path. Now, you return to this University, seeking a second chance. We are currently in a period of recovery, striving to reclaim the Department's former glory. I trust that this time, you will not engage in any activities that could damage the Department's reputation.’ The true source of their resentment, I realized, was my previous appointment at a prestigious national institution, far surpassing this university in stature.

He spoke of reclaiming the Department's past glory, but the reality was that no such 'glory' existed prior to the contributions of myself and a few other colleagues. The true measure of a department's success lies in its faculty's research output – publications, conference invitations, and research project involvement. Prior to our arrival, the Department had little to boast of in these areas.

The Dean stated, "During your previous tenure, you participated in activities that have damaged the department's reputation. I have received credible information about these actions." His accusations continued, culminating in a surprisingly unexpected statement: 'You began publishing research papers, and suddenly everyone in the Department followed suit.' I was bewildered. As academics, research and publication are fundamental responsibilities. Was I being chastised for fulfilling my duties diligently? Was it somehow detrimental to the Department's reputation? The Dean paused dramatically, then said, "You initiated a 'rat race' of publications, and everyone in the department felt compelled to follow suit."

I thought how my colleagues' pursuit of research could be detrimental to the department. After all, an institution's reputation is built upon the scholarly output of its faculty. However, I chose to remain silent, allowing him to fully vent his animosity. He continued his tirade, 'Dr. Singh, there is a limit to human greed. You sought to achieve everything at once. What would you have left to strive for later in life? You should be content with your blessings. Before joining this university, you were on a contractual position at a state university. You were fortunate to secure a position at a Central University. You should be grateful for your achievements, but your insatiable greed led you down this path, ultimately resulting in your return to this institution.' This confirmed my suspicion that his jealousy stemmed from my securing a position at a prestigious national institution, a feat he had aspired to but failed to achieve. His inability to attain a similar role likely fueled his resentment towards my success.

He concluded, 'You are back for a second term. I trust that you will not repeat the past mistakes. I expect you to fully cooperate with your Head of Department and contribute positively as a team member.'

I realized that any kind of argument would be futile. The Dean's mind was set, and any attempt to defend myself would likely be misconstrued. Given my fragile emotional state at the time, I prioritized regaining my footing and avoiding unnecessary conflict. I concluded that the best course of action was to remain silent and allow him to harbour his own misperceptions.

हज़ार जबाबों से अच्छी है मेरी ख़ामोशी, ना जाने कितने सवालों मान रखती है 

I simply greeted him and left the chamber. It became clear that the days ahead would be challenging. My initial expectation of finding sympathy and consideration from my former colleagues had proven to be a grave miscalculation. Despite the unpleasant encounter, a sense of exhilaration surged within me. I realized that Dean’s envy was a testament to my achievements. Only the mediocre remain unchallenged, devoid of both admirers and detractors. The Dean's venomous outburst, fueled by insecurity, further solidified my self-worth. As a junior faculty member, his vitriol confirmed that I was a force to be reckoned with. With a triumphant gesture, I whispered to myself, "कुछ तो बात है तुम्हारे अंदर"

Disclaimer: The story is fictitious, and any resemblance to any person, living or dead, is purely coincidental. 

                                       प्रोफेसर साहब 

प्रोफेसर साहब को अपने जूनियर शिक्षकों के साथ बाते करना बहुत अच्छा लगता था।  वो अपने कनिष्ठ शिक्षकों का इतना ख्याल रखते थे की शाम को जब भी बिभागीय कैंटीन से मैग्गी लाने को कहते तो साथ में यह भी आदेश देते की जितने लोग विभाग में है सबको एक एक प्लेट मैग्गी मिलनी चाहिए।  ऐसा सुनते ही सभी कर्मचारियों की हवा टाइट हो जाती थी क्यों की यह इस बात का संकेत होता था की उस दिन घर पहुंचने में रात के ९ बज जायेगे और उनको प्रोफेसर साहब का भाषण ३ घंटा ज्यादा सुनना पड़ेगा।

प्रोफेसर साहब को भाषण देने का बहुत शौक था।  अगर उन्हें कही बाहर से बोलने का न्योता नहीं मिलता था तो इस बात का वे विशेष ख्याल रखते थे की कही उनके भाषण देने की कला में जंग ना लग जाये और इसीलिए इसका अभ्यास वे विभाग में कनिष्ठ शिक्षकों को बैठकर हमेशा किया करते थे।  लेकिन इस प्रक्रिया में एक ही बात को बार बार दोहराते रहते, उन्हें तो इसका अंदाज़ा नहीं होता लेकिन बाकि शिक्षकों में एक ही बात साल दर साल सुनते सुनते त्राहि माम की स्थिति उत्पन्न हो जाती थी। अपने भाषण देने की प्रक्रिया में जब वे यह कहते की आज मै ज्यादा समय नहीं लूंगा और भाषण जल्दी समाप्त करूँगा तो यह इस बात का संकेत होता की अभी ये दिल भरा नहीं और अब वो एक घंटा और बोलेंगे।         

कुछ बाते तो वो पिछले १५ सालों से निरंतर कहे जा रहे है जैसे की एक दिन हमारे विभाग में वीडियो कॉन्फ़्रेंसिंग की सुविधा होगी और उस दिन वो अपने विभाग में ही बैठकर दुनिया के श्रेष्ठतम संस्थानों में भाषण देंगे।  उनकी बातें अब राकेश रोशन की फिल्म 'करण - अर्जुन' की तरह लगने लगी है जिसमे राखी यही कहते रहती थी की 'मेरे करण - अर्जुन आएंगे' . उस फिल्म में तो राखी के करण अर्जुन आ गए थे लेकिन प्रोफेसर साहब की वीडियो कॉन्फ़्रेंसिंग अभी भी आनी बाकि है।

इधर जब से उन्होंने प्रबंधन विभाग की जिम्मेदारी ली तब से प्रबंध शास्त्र पर उनकी विशेष रूचि बन गयी और उनको हमेशा इस बात की चिंता खाये रहती थी की प्रबंध शास्त्र को कैसे एक सार्वभौम विभाग के रूप में स्थापित किया जाये तथा इस महान विषय को बचाया जाये। इसीलिए रोज कुछ शिक्षकों को अपने कक्ष में बुलाकर, कभी एक घंटा बचाते तो कभी दो घंटा और कई बार इससे भी ज्यादा समय देते थे इस विषय को बचाने के लिए।

प्रोफेसर साहब को एक और चिंता रहती थी कि हमारा विभाग किसी भी 'भारतीय प्रबंध संस्थान' से बेहतर है लेकिन सरकार की गलत नीतियों के कारण हमें इस बात की मान्यता नहीं मिली है।  वो कहते रहते है की भारतीय प्रबंध संस्थान में गुडवत्ता वाली शोध होती नहीं है जैसा की हमारे विश्वविद्यालय में होता है और हम एक दिन भारतीय प्रबंध संस्थान के शिक्षकों को शोध के क्षेत्र में मार्ग दिखाएंगे।  हालाँकि ये बात अलग है की पूरे विभाग में उस वक़्त तक किसी भी शिक्षक की शोध पत्री किसी अंतर्राष्ट्रीय स्तर के जर्नल में नहीं छपी थी।  और हमारे भी चापलूसी की हद देखिये, ये जानते हुए भी की ये गलत और हास्यास्पद है, हम उनके समर्थन में सिर हिला देते थे।

अब जब चापलूसी की बात निकली ही है, तो इतना बताता चलु की चापलूसी का भी अपना संविधान होता है।  हर किसी की चापलूसी आसानी से स्वीकार्य नहीं होती।  उसके लिए साधना करनी पड़ती है।  अपने आप का 'मैं ' ध्वस्त करना होता है।  देवता को विस्वास दिलाना होता है की आप एक बार मुझे अपनी चापलूसी का मौका दीजिये  और फिर देखिये मै, मै नहीं रहूँगा बल्कि आप हो जाऊंगा, मै खुद की पत्नी का चेहरा भी आपसे पूछकर देखूंगा। इतनी सारी बाधाओं को पार करने के बाद तब कही जाकर सच्चा चापलूस बनने का मौका मिलता है।

हम भी मैदान में उतरे अपनी वफादारी साबित करने की कोशिश की लेकिन मुझ जैसे निक्कम्मे से ये भी ना हो पाया और चुनु, मुनु और टुनु नामक तीन लोग इसमें कामयाब हो गए और अंत में मुझे इस क्षेत्र में हार का मुँह देखना पड़ा।  अब चुनु, मुनु और टुनु उनकी आँख,कान और नाक हो गए है। हालांकि बीच बीच में प्रोफेसर साहब कहते रहते है कि वे कभी भी दोहरा मापदंड नहीं अपनाते लेकिन शायद ऐसा कहकर अपने आप को सही ठहराने की कोशिश करते है। आजकल प्रोफेसर साहब जब कभी शोधपत्री प्रकाशित होने की बात होती है तो चुनु, मुनु और टुनु की प्रशंशा करते नहीं अघाते।  बार बार मानों वे यह कह रहे हो इन तीनो के लिए जैसे "कलम आज उसकी जय बोल।  जला अश्थियाँ बारी बारी, छिटकाई जिसने चिंगारी, चढ़ गए पुण्य बेदी पर लिए बिना गर्दन का मोल, कलम आज उसकी जय बोल". और एक दिन पता चला की चुनु ने अपनी अस्थियां सचमुच जला ली, जब एक प्रकाशक का संदेसा आया की चुनु की अधिकांश रचनाये चुराई हुई है।  तब से उनके गुणगान मे कुछ कमी आयी है।

जब भी कोई सुन्दर शोध छात्रा पीएचडी के लिए विभाग में दाखिला लेती है तो मजाल है कोई और उस खूबसूरत बाला का गाइड बन जाये।  ये जिम्मेदारी प्रोफेसर साहब अपने मजबूत कंधो पर उठाते है और उस बाला को पहले अपने कमरे में घंटों बिठाकर ज्ञानसागर में गोते लगवाते है और जब वो बाला उनके ज्ञान की चाशनी में नहा चुकी होती है तो उससे वादा लेते है की वादा करो की जब तक तुम्हारी पीएचडी पूरी नहीं होगी तुम विवाह नहीं करोगी, और वो छात्रा भी उनके तेज़ से इतना प्रभावित रहती है की उनकी हाँ में हाँ मिला ही देती है।

प्रोफेसर साहब की सबसे अच्छी बात उनकी आत्ममुग्धता लगती है। वे इतने आत्मकेंद्रित है की उनको अपने सिवा और कोई दूसरा दिखाई नहीं देता और विपरीत परिस्थितियों में भी सकारात्मक रहना कोई उनसे सीखे।  जब वे विभागाध्यक्ष हुआ करते थे तब वे हमेशा कहा करते थे की विश्वविद्यालय की असली सत्ता विभागाध्यक्ष के पास होती है और जब वे डीन बने तो कहने लगे कि वास्तविक जिम्मेदारी विश्वविद्यालय चलने की डीन के पास होती है।  कालांतर में जब वे दोनों ही नहीं रहे तो कुछ कुछ धर्मगुरुओ जैसा प्रवचन देने लग गए है और कहते है कि व्यक्ति को किसी पद से सत्ता या सामर्थ्य नहीं मिलती है असली शक्ति तो व्यक्ति के अंदर होती है।

Disclaimer: The story is fictitious and any resemblance to any person living or dead is purely coincidental.          

Fear

“Dr Singh, please take your seat”, the Chairman asked me to sit, though, from his facial expression, it was evident that he didn’t want me to sit in his chamber even for a fraction of a second. I was also not willing to sit with him. Neither I like his company nor I was willing to spend time with him. But that day, I went to his chamber located in another department of the University especially to meet him. I was becoming a table tennis ball which is pushed towards the other side of the table by the players so that they can remain safe and the risk of losing for them is at its lowest level. This time also, the Registrar of the University told me to meet him and I knew that if I met him, he would say to me to meet the registrar.

I sat down. He asked me (though he knew the reason for my arrival there), “Tell me, how I can help you?” There were a smile and hidden happiness present on his face which he tried to hide, but it is truly said that blood, cough, happiness, enmity, love and drunkenness cannot be hidden. There are many people who fall within the category of the sadist and he was one of them.

I said to him, “Sir, Please clear the file related to me which is with you. You are the Chairman of that committee constituted to investigate my case”. I stopped for a while anticipating for a question from his end, but he was extremely silent. After a wait of around more than a minute, I started again, “Sir, You know that there is nothing in that file against me. I did not do any mistake and wrong thing and for no mistake of mine, I have been suffering like anything. I am not getting my salary for the last 10 month. So, please clear all those files”.

He said, “I understand your situation but nothing is in my hand. Whatever has to be done will be done by the Registrar only. Why don’t you meet the Registrar?”  My anticipation came with pinpoint accuracy. I knew that he would advise me to meet the Registrar.

By that time, I understood that he would not do anything. Since the last 10 months, he was playing table tennis and still he was in a mood to play the same. I thought if anything is to be done /enforced, it should be done in time. There is no benefit of placing a person on the ventilator after his death. Any medicine works only if it is given in time and it was the high time to do something to restore my employment otherwise it would be difficult for me to sustain my livelihood. I thought, if my salary is not released immediately, it would be difficult to sustain.

I stood up from the chair. Anger was inside my heart but somehow I tried to control it. I realized that that person was not clearing my files because he was thinking that I was powerless. I was wondering about the meaning of the word 'powerful' and I could come to the conclusion that a person is considered powerful only if he is 'harmful'. If someone is useful then people do not consider him as powerful. In this context, I was truly 'Powerless' because they thought that I could not harm them in any way. So, I said, “Sir, I am not going to meet anyone now. Whatever might be the decision I am ready to accept.”

He said, “Don’t worry; I am sure that you can do something to sustain your livelihood. You are intelligent enough and God has given you two hands. Why are you worrying unnecessarily?” These words of him made me fully mad. I paused for a while and then said, “Yes sir, I can definitely do something to sustain my living. In our country, people are divided by caste and every caste has a certain role to play in society. Son of Brahmin can maintain his livelihood by doing the job of a priest, son of a blacksmith can sustain his living by doing the job of a blacksmith, but unfortunately, my caste has only learned to kill people and in modern times this skill is not appreciated.” He said, “HOW”. I said, “Yes, this is the only skill I have inherited from my ancestors, i.e., to kill people. I am from the community of worriers which is called as Rajput and the only skill we possess is to kill people.”

“Therefore, I am now not going to meet anyone. Whatever will be the decision I am ready to accept and if I have to see anyone I will see him outside the University gate”, I said in the continuation and with anger.  

Fear was reflecting on his face. He started looking at the other side of the room and shouted at the peon for cleaning his room. I was sitting calmly. After a few minutes, he said, “have patience, I am sure that you will overcome all your problems.”

I did not say anything. I asked for leave and came out of his chamber. I came to my chamber, sat down for some time and decided to go to my parental place. I thought that there is no use of wasting time, energy and money unnecessarily. So,  it would be better to leave this place and spent some time with my parents. In fact, I had almost given up and mentally prepared for any outcome and given the development that had happened that day, I was sure that the Chairman would write adverse comments in my file.

Next day, I took the bus and went to my hometown. I was sitting at my home with my parents and my mobile ranged. It was a call from the Registrar office of the University. The person asked me to collect the necessary documents related to my joining at University from the Registrar office. I told him that I am out of the station and will be coming back within a day.

Next day, I again took the bus and went back. I collected the official papers. I was wondering as what has happened that the file which was pending for the last 10 months was cleared within two days. I came to know that one meeting was convened by the chairman on the same day on which I had a hot interaction with him and the decision was taken in my favour. I was remembering Great Tulsidas who said in Ram Charit Manas “भय बिनु होइ न प्रीति” which means love does not happen without fear.

Disclaimer: The story is fictitious and any resemblance to any person living or dead is purely coincidental.